Merry Christmas Again

We had a wonderful Christmas. The kids loved their presents and we had dinner with friends. All in all it was a wonderful day spent with people I love and enjoy. I also wanted to share a few more pictures of my beautiful children.

Drew is growing so fast and becoming an amazing young man. He is very excited about his new computer games, dvds, and books.

Sam is as ornery as the day is long, but he is a great little boy who loves his new "iPod" and keyboard.

Olivia is such a sweet person. She loves her new pony and unicorn figures, as well as her new "iPod" and her R.C. Dragon. Then there is her new stuffed Terrier puppy that she named Buzzway (???)

Sofia just keeps getting bigger. She was most pleased with her new Cabbage Patch Babies and her Christmas Morning Barbie. (At least one of my girls realizes she is a girl...LOL)

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas from our family to yours. I hope your Christmas is wonderful and that you get to spend it with those you love most.

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday to me!

Happy Birthday to me!

Happy Birthday to me!

Happy Birthday to me!

Get To Know You Christmas

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Wrapping Paper.

2. Real tree or artificial? This is our first year for an artificial, but I love it.

3. When do you put up the tree? Around the beginning of December.

4. When do you take the tree down? Around the beginning of January.

5. Do you like eggnog? No.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? Two-wheel bicycle.

7. Do you have a nativity scene? Yes.

8. Hardest person to buy for? Drew and Sofia.

9. Easiest person to buy for? Sam and Olivia.

10. Mail or Email Christmas cards? Mail, but I NEVER remember!

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? I don't remember getting a bad gift.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? It's A Wonderful Life.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? In September.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? No

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Double Decker Fudge

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Colored, don't even get me started on my feelings about white lights.

17. Favorite Christmas song? O Holy Night.

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? HOME

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer's? Yes.

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Angel, I have have a beautiful Angel.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Morning.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? How people act towards one another while Christmas shopping!

Our Christmas Tree

I love Christmas. I love Christmas trees. I love live Christmas trees. However, Thomas and I have been talking about getting an artificial tree for a few years, and we finally did so yesterday. The only kind of artificial tree I would accept is a white tree that was not pre-lit. I have no issues with pre-lit trees, however all of the white trees I have seen come with white lights. I CANNOT stand white lights on a Christmas tree, well maybe in Church, but that is the only exception.

Why do I dislike white lights you ask? There is no heart and no life behind them. They are just white, and not really white, they are clear! I like happy multi-colored lights.

I also love our tree! It is a very happy, cheerful tree. We have a variety of ornaments and we bought them because they are pretty, or have some special meaning, or were gifts. We don't have a "theme" tree, I dislke "theme" trees even more than I dislike white lights. Theme trees belong in Macy's or Dillard's or any of a variety of department stores. They do not belong in homes!

Our tree has a first Christmas ornament for Sam, Olivia, and Sofia; Olivia's and Sofia's are personalized. I don't know if I ever got on for Drew or not. We have ornaments Drew made in school. We have our 2000 First Christmas Together ornament. We have the hand painted ornaments that my mom got for us in 2000, Thomas' with a guitar and musical notes and mine with a nurse's hat and stethoscope. I have ornaments that Drew and I bought with the Rugrats on them, we have Disney ornaments, angels, colored balls, Ricky & Lucy Ricardo, Star Wars, Eyeore, , ducks, snow men, and others. We have a Christmas ornament I got as a child, a Cabbage Patch ornament from when Cabbage Patch Kids first came out. I named her Madeline, one of my favorite names. And then there is my Angel on top. I bought her the first year I was a nurse and had my own apartment and own Christmas tree, she has sat atop my tree every year since! I think she is beautiful.

I really think trees should reflect the people who live in the home, and should have a great variety of personalities represented! Well, I definitely hope I haven't offended anyone with my opinions, but I do feel strongly about this topic. Please leave theme trees at the stores where they belong and make your tree a reflection of those living in the home.

Recycled Black Friday Post

Okay, so this post was recycled from last year, so prices and item examples are a little out of date. However, the post still exemplifies how I feel about Black Friday! I hope if any of my readers braved the sales, they were kind to everyone shopping around them. Most of my readers are religious (Christian, Muslim, etc.) so I hope they exemplified the graciousness of the chosen religion while shopping today.


My post from yesterday and the reply I have gotten has made me think about my biggest pet peeve/complaint about the holiday season and that is Black Friday. I find it very offensive that retailers would make their employees get up and get to work for a store to open at 5:00 AM. What daycare opens at that time? Hopefully none of the employees are single parents who rely on daycare.

But beyond that, for me personally, I find it offensive that a retailer would have a sale start at 5:00 AM and end it six hours later. Why must I get up at that time in order to find the items I want at these great prices? I am not a Wal-Mart fan at all, the company could go out of business and I wouldn't miss them, but they had computers at $398 for six hours on Friday morning. If I was in the market for a new desktop or laptop PC, these were GREAT models especially for the price. However, if I didn't get to Wal-Mart at least an hour before it opened to wait in line, I wouldn't have a chance at getting one of these computers. Hear what happened to the guy who cut in line in Florida?

That brings me to my next point. People who are perfectly sane every other day of the year become absolutely insane the day after Thanksgiving. People fight each other for parking spaces, for the last Tickle Me Elmo (or whatever the toy of the year is,) for spots in the check-out line, etc. What happens to these normal people that they become horrible, terrible people on this one day? Actually, this is the worst day of the shopping season for people to act so terribly, but it continues on through the holiday season. What material item in the world is worth turning into a raving lunatic over? Are we really so materialistic?

The individual who replied to me state she/he saved over $160 on one item. That is wonderful, but I didn't even spend the amount she saved on each of my children. They probably will have around $100-$150 spent on each of them (except the baby, she is getting one item under the tree and one item in her stocking.) This is what we are spending on them, they will have more spent on them by grandparents and others, but not by us. It is not that we are cheap, it isn't even because I went out of work early and money is much tighter.

We buy our children things they want throughout the year, not great big items, but toys or movies or CD's or whatever, that they may want. We have found that they so hugely appreciate things when the get them in small doses, they become massively overwhelmed when they have tons of presents showered on them at one time. I know as they get older presents become more expensive, which is the challenge I have with Drew, but since we don't allow video games that does seeem to help control costs. I about had a fit when I saw the new X-Box was $400, who the heck spends that kind of money on ONE item for a child?

Okay, to get back on topic of Black Friday. I can only vaguely remember going shopping on that day once, and that was with my mom when I was a teenager. I have never gone on my own and cannot imagine a deal so good that I would go at any point in the future. I bought a newspaper on Thanksgiving and looked through all the sale ads and, I must say, there really weren't any sales that tempted me to get out of my bed that early on a Friday morning. I don't like to be used, and that is what the retailers do when they offer these sales for such a short period of time. I like to be treated with respect as a consumer, so when retailers stop trying to "lure" me into their stores at unreasonable times of the day, I will be more apt to spend my money there.

So Excited

Since I bought my very first PC when I was in nursing school, I have wanted a Mac. Macs have better hardware, the software is much more stable and the operating system is known for not crashing. Thomas could tell you I have talked about owning a Mac since we were dating! When we lived in CA, we visited the Apple store numerous times, of course we couldn't afford to buy one, but I went and drooled over them.

Well, yesterday afternoon, the FedEx guy brought my iMac to my front door! I am so excited I can't even stand it. I still haven't figured it all out, as it is very different, but I am enjoying the challenge. So, let me figure out what I am doing and I will blog more. At least getting around online is the same as my favorite browser, Firefox, is Mac compatible.

Help The Drunk Get Home

This is one of those funny web games that looks easy but isn't really. My friend Lisa emailed it to me and I thought I would share it on here. Let me know your high score.


Help The Funny Drunk Get Home

Sam and Sofia

Thomas blogged about this as well, but I thought it was pretty neat so I want to write about it as well. On Thursday while I was sleeping to go to work that night, Thomas took the girls outside to play. Sofia loves her "Zoom Zoom," which is the name that we gave the push toy when we bought it for Sam. Sam didn't walk without some sort of help until he was 17 months old, so he was probably around that age in this picture. Sofia is eleven months old now.

As Thomas mentioned the similarity of the outfits is coincidental but the shoes are the same (white Keds type shoes are great for boys and girls.) Of course the toy is the same, but the kids are different. One boy, one girl born 3 1/2 years apart. Sam was in our backyard in St. Louis and Olivia is in our driveway here in Austell.

Happy Halloween

We went Trick-or-Treating on Halloween night. All three of our children dressed up and had a blast. Sweet Sofia dressed up as a chicken. Her nickname is Chicken because when she was tiny, she never really cried, she just squawked like a chicken. We were very excited when we found a chicken costume at Target.


Olivia is a cat, just ask her. She swears she isn't a little girl, she is a cat. She will crawl around on the floor and meow, and her meow is very authentic as it has brought Vinnie running on multiple occasions. For Olivia, she was bound and determined to be a cat. That was the only costume she had talked about for quite a while. The problem came when we went costume shopping. We couldn't find a cat...anywhere. I found an absolutely adorable cat costume on Gymboree.com, but her size was sold out. The Gymboree shop at the mall didn't have her size either, I was told the costume was sold out almost immediately. As for Target, Wal-Mart, etc, neither place had a cat. They had every other animal imaginable, but no cat...and Olivia wouldn't entertain any other costume. So, our friends lent us theirs from last year and it worked well.


Sam decided early this summer he wanted to be Dash from "The Incredibles." Again, he wasn't to be budged on this idea. We found his costume on the same day we got Sofia's. Now, don't tell him, but his costume is NOT Dash, but Mr. Incredible. I am not sure why the only choice was of Mr. Incredible, but it was. Of course, since Then Incredibles all wear the same costume, it wasn't too big a deal. He was just a VERY muscular Dash. Now, he hated the mask that came with it, he kept grabbing it off of his face, so Daddy used some face makeup that I had bought for our "cat" and painted him a mask.

Drew didn't dress up this year, but he was an awesome helper during trick-or-treating. We went to our friend's neighborhood to trick-or-treat. The babies stayed in their strollers during the evening. Drew took four other kids up to each door and helped them ring doorbells and such. He did a great job and was very much appreciated by all the little kids.

Faith vs. Religion

My husband recently blogged about religion, Protestant Fundamentalism in particular. He only talked about his views, and it was regarding just one specific idea. I must say, as a preface, that neither Thomas nor I are overly religious. I do hold some of my Catholic upbringing close to my heart, but I don't buy into anything 100%.

Then, of course, the blogger people started coming out of the woodwork to comment, as I knew would happen. There were a lot of good comments, and challenging arguments, which I don't mind because it makes me think. However, there was one anonymous poster who infuriated me. I can only refer to this person as an idiot. I don't mind differing beliefs or ideas, in fact, I welcome them. However, the fact that people are very stuck in their own little boxes makes me angry.

The anonymous poster in question stated "you keep blogging about religion. Maybe you should blog about faith." I copied and pasted that from his blog, so there could be no mistake in retyping.

How dare anyone judge my husband's, or anyone's, faith based on a blog about religion! Religion and faith are not one and the same. There can be faith without religion, and there can definitely be religion without faith. I see so many people going through the motions of their religion without any real faith all the time. I also see many people with tons of faith who practice no religion at all. Now to be fair, there are a lot of faithful, religious people in this world. I, myself, know many.

What a small, boxed in world that person must live in to make that comment which sounds so accusing and judgmental. What little faith this person shows, when they make such a giant leap. They definitely seem to be of the mind set that religion = faith and faith = religion.

I think I will have to say prayers for this person as I don't think they are actually very faithful at all. I probably shouldn't refer to them as an idiot, as sad and stuck seem more appropriate.

If I have offended anyone, I am sorry, but I am really angry and I needed to vent.

Pet Peeves

Pet peeves, we all have them and I saw on a blog today one of my big ones.

Daylight Saving Time. Not Daylight Savings Time. There is no "s" at the end of Saving.

There are others like this. It is Valentine's Day, not Valentime's Day.

On New Year's Day, we should wish each other a "Happy New Year" not a "Happy New Years."

Other grammatical things like this bother me also.

Say "I couldn't care less," not "I could care less."

Or supposedly, not supposebly.

Congratulations does not have a "d" in it.

I will stop here for now! I know about a year ago I ranted on grammar, and my opinion hasn't changed so no need to go there again.

Six Years

I have been thinking about six years ago. In January, Thomas and I will be married for six years.

A lot has changed in six years. I have four children instead of one. I am an old married woman now (how did THAT happen?) I have been a registered nurse for 7 1/2 years now. I have been a pediatric nurse for almost two years and I have now been in the PICU for five weeks.

We have moved eight times, in five different states (North Carolina, Missouri, Virginia, California, and Georgia.) I have worked at nine different hospitals (of course, as a travel nurse for part of the time helped boost those numbers.) Drew has been in TEN different schools in that time period plus the catastrophy of trying to home school him when we were travelling (so he didn't have to change schools so frequently.)

Thomas and I married January 14, 2001. We moved to St. Louis in June of that year. Sam was born June 15, 2002. Olivia was born August 12, 2003. We moved to Virginia in January, 2004. We moved to California in April, 2004. We moved to Georgia in November, 2004. Sofia was born December 5, 2005.

Whew, I am tired from thinking about all of that!

Has anyone else's life changed significantly in a relatively short period of time?

PICU

Well, I am starting my third weekend of orientation in the PICU. I have an outstanding preceptor, she is an unbelievably awesome nurse. Working with critically ill children, and their families, is very different than when I was caring for kids on the regular floors. I think I like it a lot. There is an awful lot to learn, and sometimes I wonder if it is possible to become competent at all with this. I do like it and I am going to work hard to learn as much as I can. This is a challenge, but one I am enjoying. I work tonight and tomorrow night, so I am heading to bed soon. Everyone have a wonderful weekend.

I Got My iPod

I am so excited. I finally got my iPod. Not only that, I got the one I wanted, the 30gb black ipod with the full color screen and everything. I am not quite sure how to work everything, but I will figure it out. I downloaded the Mandy Patinkin album I bought a couple of days ago. I am not looking forward to converting my CD collection, but it will be worth it when it is done.

Well, I have to go to bed now. I have my first night of orientation in the PICU tonight, so I need to be rested.

Rest In Peace

I woke this morning to the news that Steve Irwin had died. My first thoughts were of a vibrant, full of life man; it was inconceivable that he could so suddenly be gone. My second thoughts were for his wife and children who have lost a husband and father.

In our house, Steve Irwin was a god. My Olivia adored him, she loves watching him on Animal Planet. She would have only been too happy to be packed up in a box and shipped off to the Australia Zoo. We tried to be VERY careful about not having her see any episodes with Bindi because it would all be over for her. Of course, she saw Bindi in spite of our best efforts. You should have seen her eyes.

I can't even begin to imagine the pain and loss that is being experienced by those who love him. By all accounts, he was a wonderful husband and a very involved father, my sympathies lie with Terri, Bindi, and Bob this morning, as well as his friends and colleagues.

Long Time, No Blog

Well, I have been off my blog for a while, sorry everyone.

I am SURE everyone is DYING to hear about my job. Right? Of course you are.

Well, I didn't get the Assistant Nurse Manager position, but that is okay because they chose a wonderful nurse for the position. I probably would have hired her if it had been my decision. Of course, I still think I would have been an awesome nurse for the job, but I have no hard feelings at all.

So, that left me in a situation of choosing the ER or the PICU. The interview in the PICU went wonderfully. I was a little disappointed in the interview in the ER because the manager wasn't available, she was in another meeting. One of the assistant managers interviewed me. This was the only thing I really had a problem with, I figure if you set up an interview, you don't set up a meeting at the same time. If it is unavoidable (say HER boss set up this meeting) then she should have called to reschedule or ask if one of her assistant managers could do the interview. I would have a hard time accepting a job on a unit where I had never talked with the manager.

However, that being said, I LOVED the ER, it looked really cool. It would be an exciting, dynamic place to work. The same could be said for the PICU as well.

When all was said and done, I chose the PICU. They had the schedule I needed available, the option in the ER wasn't even CLOSE to what I wanted. Also, the manager thing did push me over a lot. In the PICU, I interviewed with the Manager and one of the Assistant Managers. The Manager herself took me on a tour of the PICU and even offered to let me talk with the staff if I wanted. She had HR offer me the job very soon after my interview and even called me back and answered a question within a day of returning from her vacation.

Managers are a major issue for me. Especially since I am leaving the best manager I have ever worked for in my entire career. My current Manager has been a gift from Heaven over the last 20 months. I can't even begin to describe how wonderful she is and how much she has done for me.

On to other, more interesting issues. Sam started pre-K and promptly decided he hated it. He was very surprised on the way home from his first day when I said something about going back the next day. He was under the impression he only had to go once and he was done. He is now in his third week and is adjusting much better. I think he understands now, that while this is a major change in routine, it is still a routine, just a new one. He doesn't cope well with change at all, he is worse than the most crusty-set-in-her-ways-nurse I have ever met. (Ask Thomas about nurses and change...LOL)

Olivia is now three and is very angry that she can't go to school. She insists that SHE is BIG and she needs to go to school with the kids. She has a hard time with the fact that her brother can go and she can't. Of course, we made her happy today, we bought her a tiger family. A Daddy who is an orange tiger, a Mama who is a white tiger, and a Baby who is also white. This is her new tiger family and she loves them. These animals are awesome, they come from Target and are really cool and well made. Considering what the three cost, they should be nice. Worth every penny based on the look on her face.

Sofia is scooting around everywhere and has eight teeth in her mouth. She is HUGE. She is way off the growth charts. At 7 1/2 months she weighed 24 pounds, but since she is very tall, and everything was proportionate, the doc was happy.

Drew is now in high school and involved with Army JROTC. He comes home in pain every night with all the physical activity for ROTC and PE. I think it is good for him, and he agrees. He just wishes he wouldn't be so uncomfortable, but it will pass.

Well, I am exhausted and I need to go to bed. Have a good night.

Peace

Thomas and I had a talk this morning about peace. World peace, and personal peace. I realize that the only type of peace I have any real control over is my own. I realize that I am very lucky, I have a wonderful husband, family, friends, and career. Of course, everything is not perfect, I don't think it ever can be as we are not perfect.

When thinking what I would like to have a more "perfect" life, I came up with the fact that I want and need more girlfriends. I can work on that, and I am working on that, so this is not too big a deal.

To bring more peace to my life, I would need to heal a broken relationship. I have gotten to the point where I would allow the relationship to heal if the other individual would just pick up the phone. This is a situation where I feel I was really wronged, but I have accepted the fact that I won't ever receive an apology, that the other person just isn't capable of doing that. I think to make things more peaceful, you have to accept people where they are, limitations and all. I do realize that I am not yet at a point where I can pick up the phone and make that phone call, maybe because I am the one who last made a call, back in April of 2004. That phone call was never returned and I guess I am still waiting. There has been communication of sorts, via email. First it was friendly, then it turned nasty. The nastiness was not on my part, which is why I am still not quite ready to make the first move.

I have done a lot to move forward though. I have moved to the point where I would not require an apology, which is huge. This is significant movement on my part and it has brought me some measure of peace.

I don't understand why people won't own their mistakes, and do what they can to fix them. God always wants us to right any wrong we have committed, and I try hard to do this. Not everyone does though, even those who claim God in every aspect of their lives, that is hugely hypocritical to me.

Of course, the person I am in "conflict" with doesn't claim God at all, as far as I know. That may be some of the problem.

Oh well, I am rambling now. I will end here, if anyone has anything helpful to add, please do so.

Job Update....Again

Okay, so I did get very tired of waiting for a call about my job application, so I submitted more applications. I submitted an application to the PICU and to the ER, both at the same hospital where I currently work. I realized, that while I really want the Assistant Nurse Manager position, I really needed a change even if I didn't get the job that was my first choice.

So, now I have applied for three jobs, and these three jobs require a total of five interviews. One interview apiece for the ER and PICU. Three interviews for the Assistant Manager position; one with the management team, one with the director, and one with the staff. So far, I have completed all three interviews for the Assistant Manager position, the final one was yesterday. I interviewed for the PICU last week and I interview for the ER next Tuesday.

I have been offered the position in the PICU, but thankfully, I don't have to make a decision quite yet. I spoke with the recruiter who assured me that I can finish my interview process and wait for decisions/offers before I accept or decline any position.

Next Tuesday after my interview I have a staff meeting with my current department. We are meeting our new director at this meeting. Our manager is staying the same, but there is a new director. I am also curious if the changes within my department might not allow me to stay where I am but take on the new responsibilities I am desiring. I was promoted this spring, but the only thing I have seen with the promotion thus far is the salary increase. The money is nice, but I did the required work for the promotion because I wanted to have the increased/different responsibilities this would allow. However, this has never happened. I am doing the same thing I was doing before my promotion, I am just being paid more. As I said, the money is nice, but not the only thing.

I guess I am saying, that I need personal and professional satisfaction out of my career, not just a paycheck. I require constant challenges and new learning experiences. Stagnation is the death of a job for me, but I like where I work, so I am looking internally for the new challenges instead of looking externally. This is very different from where I have been in the past, I always looked externally. I would hope this shows growth on my part.

Well, enough for today. I will update as news comes available.

Job Update

Well, things are moving at a snail's pace wtih the new job that I want. The day after I applied the recruiter emailed me asking for me to update a few things on my application, as it was the same application I had put in when I was first hired. Applying is done online and the application is saved for possible use in the future.

So, I updated as asked, and then heard nothing at all. I called HR and left a message and still heard nothing. So, I applied for a couple of other positions that interest me. And then I heard back, finally. Turns out the recruiter was on vacation, so everything came to a stand still until she got back. As things stand now, my application was forwarded to the hiring manager on Monday and I should hear from her within a week or so. (Of course I am going on vacation in two weeks, but nevermind that.)

Now I am waiting again. I hate waiting. I am not very patient about things like this. Nothing gets my anxiety level up like sitting around and just waiting.

On the plus side, I have been accepted to the University of Phoenix Online to complete my BSN. That is good news, now I just have to figure out how to pay for it. I have applied for a bunch of scholarships, and I can apply for tuition reimbursement from work in October, so I may have to wait for one or the other to come through since the program is pricey. At least I have gotten accepted, which is a major step.

I will update as I have any information! Please keep saying prayers for me.

I Need Lots of Prayers

I have applied for a new job with my employer. This is an Assistant Nurse Manager position on the unit that I REALLY want to work on. My employer requires a BSN degree, or working on it, so I have also enrolled in college to complete my Bachelor's degree.

The BSN is something I have wanted to do for a while, but I have been putting it off. First I got married, then three kids have come along in rapid succession, so I have not had any problems saying "not now." However, the requirement to advance has made this a more pressing issue, so whether or not I get the job I have applied for, I will still complete my degree.

I do want this job, and I feel like I am being called to apply for it (or being led, if you prefer.) I think the fit would be awesome, but I still have to interview, and I know that at least two other nurses have applied for the position as well, one of whom currently works that unit. I am not sure WHO has applied though.

Just keep me in your prayers while I complete the admissions process for college and for my interviews that will be upcoming.

Toyota Sienna

Okay, like I said in my last post, my car had to have the transmission replaced AGAIN! Well, I took it in on Tuesday and they again provided a loaner, ie a rental from Enterprise. Last time, Enterprise gave me a little Kia Spectra, which was cool. This time, they only had one car left when I got there, and it was a 2006 Toyota Sienna. A minivan. I don't like minivans, I don't want one, I like SUVs. Or so I thought.

Let me say that this is one of the best automobiles I have EVER driven. We moved all the car seats over from the Suburban and did all of our errands in the Sienna yesterday. The cargo area holds an unbelievable amount. It is a very kid friendly auto as well. There are about a million cup holders, or maybe ten.

As a rental, this isn't the top of the line model, obviously, but it is pretty awesome. It is the middle model, not the base and not the "best." The side sliding doors and back aren't power, but that isn't a huge deal. I looked up this model on toyota.com and it is awesome all of the features and safety features. The mpg isn't bad either for a bigger auto, it is 20/27, which is SO much better than we get in the Suburban.

I think the Sienna will probably be our next auto purchase when the Sentra gets paid off, which I now have even greater incentive to pay off sooner.

A minivan, me? Who woulda thunk it?

Car Craziness...

As anyone who frequents my blog knows, I just bought a car back in April (a 2004 Nissan Sentra.) I started having issues with the reverse on my stick shift immediately! Well, it is still under original warranty, thank goodness, and the dealership replaced the transmission.

I got my car back on Friday of last week. Driving to work I noticed that the transmission "whined" during acceleration when nearing highway speeds (70 mph) and I also noticed a rattling while idling. None of this had been present before the transmission was replaced. So we took the car to the dealership for an appointment at 1:00 on Tuesday. Thursday morning we FINALLY got word that the new transmission needs replacing. Some bearing (sp?) in the transmission was not lubricated properly during manufacture, so the transmission is not any good. I guess this cannot be fixed, so it has to be replaced, AGAIN.

So, I got my car back Thursday evening, as it is safe to drive. I am waiting for another call that my new transmission is ready to be put in my car. I will get ANOTHER loaner at that time.

I will keep you updated as things progress.

Happy Birthday Sam!

Tomorrow is Sam's 4th birthday. We celebrated today because I work tomorrow night. We had a birthday party for him around lunch time and my friend brought her children over for cake and ice cream. It was nice and small, and he had a blast.

Tonight we had a young couple, who Thomas met while working at Chili's, over for dinner. They are expecting their first baby any time now. She is due at the beginning of July, but like most women this far along, she is ready anytime the baby makes her presence known. It was a nice day all around.

Having a lady around who is so close to having a baby brought back memories of Sam being born. We had a scare with him a couple of days before his c-section was scheduled. I had gone to Target to exchange a few things from the baby shower I had at work and I collapsed in the middle of the baby section. I did not come around until I was AT the hospital, I remember nothing of the EMS workers or of the ambulance ride. I woke up in the hospital with an IV in my hand. This was not an experience I ever want to repeat. Thankfully all my tests came back negative that were run after he was born.

He was born on the date I chose, in a nice safe environment, by a wonderful doctor. He was, and is, healthy and happy and beautiful. He is a great kid and I love him dearly. He will be starting pre-k in the fall, and can't wait. I can't believe my baby boy is going to start school. I am very blessed to have such a great son.

Happy Birthday my wonderful four year old boy.

Getting My New Car Fixed....

Well, as my regular readers know (both of you LOL,) I started having some major issues with the reverse in my new car. Well, for any new readers, my "new" car is a 2004 Nissan Sentra, so not exactly new, but definitely new for me. Thomas assured me that the issue was mine and I just needed to learn the "trick" to the reverse. I did, learn the trick that is, but it still seemed like more work than it should be, as it would always take a few tries and I could never get it in reverse immediately, which is a problem if you are looking for a parking space and pull up too far.

So, when my mom was here, we had to go up to the dealership for a few paperwork details that we had neglected, and Thomas did mention we had been having a problem. Of course, because I had been backing in and out of spaces a number of times in a short period, the reverse worked perfectly. But, Rick, the guy we talked to in repair believed us and asked us to leave the car overnight so he could test it cold. So we did, and he did, and he had issues. He said the issues were just enough to concern him, so he ordered a brand new transmission for the car and we are taking the car in tomorrow to get this new transmission put in. They are even giving us a loaner, which is necessary as I have a meeting at work tomorrow. I am not sure how long this endeavor should take, but at least I don't have to worry about a hefty bill. Since the car is still under original manufacturer warranty...and since I had a 30-day warranty from the dealership itself, this is a completely free of charge repair.

Well, I think that is all for today, I will let you know how it goes at the dealership and how the car drives after the new transmission is put in. Have a great night.

Busy, Busy, Busy...

I haven't blogged in a while, but we have been busy. My work schedule has been nothing short of crazy. I had to take my Pediatric Advanced Life Support class yesterday and Friday, so I had to rearrange my normal work schedule to accommodate this. My body is in total shock with the complete rearrangement of my normal sleep patterns. I haven't had a decent rest in days, but I will take some Benadryl tonight so I can sleep.

I am at a crossroads with my job right now and I am not sure what I want to do. I love my job in the float pool. I love the flexibility it allows and the versatility that is affords. I LOVE being able to work everywhere, to know people on all the floors, and to not have tunnel vision regarding nursing. However, things are very different right now, and I am not liking it at all. For me, a job my be challenging. Not crazy challenging, like working in the ER, but I like working everywhere and doing a little bit of everything. The way things are now does not allow for that very much.

Oh well, we are having a staff meeting on Tuesday, I plan to talk with my manager afterwards to share some of my frustrations. I have the greatest manager, she is awesome, which is why I have stuck things out thus far, but even the greatest manager isn't enough when I am feeling so stagnant. I either need some sort of change in the way things are in my current position, or I need to seek out another position. I was hoping my promotion would allow for a few more administrative responsibilities, but that hasn't happened...that coupled with the stagnation in my actual nursing responsibilities has made me very unhappy with work.

The other thoughts I have are related to WHERE I would work if I left the float pool. Which floor would I REALLY want to work on full time? There are a couple of place I love very much, and some I despise, and some in the middle. Obviously I wouldn't ever try to work on the floors I despise, and I wouldn't even want to work on those in the middle...but there are about three areas I love and one more I would like to work on that I can't go to in the float pool. However, I would be giving up a lot to go work on one unit and I that would be hard. I fervently hope I don't have to make any changes, but for my sanity's sake, I might.

Oh well, I am not going to stress (too much) over something that might never come to be, but I do want to have some plan laid out in my mind just in case. I will see how my talk goes on Tuesday before I borrow trouble. Just keep me in your prayers that I can appropriately discuss my concerns with my manager and that she is receptive to what I have to say. Pray that I am lead to the right path.

Have a good night.

Mom Is On Her Way Home

Well, my mom finally made it after battling respiratory illness this month. She still isn't back to normal, but she is much better. I have encourage her to set up an appointment with her Doc when she gets home for a follow-up appointment, but I do think she is on the road to recovery.

The visit was very nice, she spoiled her grandchildren way too much, but she also babysat them one night so Thomas and I could go on a date, and that was AWESOME. It has been since our anniversary in 2005 that we have been able to go out by ourselves. It definitely made an impact on us, and we want to make sure we can go out more than once every 18 months or so. Once a month would be my ideal.

She is now working her way back to Virginia. She is staying with some friends in NC tonight and then will go home tomorrow so she can go to a James Brown concert with my brother and his girlfriend tomorrow night.

Well, that's all for now, gotta go to bed in about an hour so I can go to work tonight. My schedule is all messed up this coming week as I have a class next Friday and Saturday (daytime,) so I need to make sure I get good rest this weekend.

Sorry For My Absence

I haven't blogged in quite a while, life has been busy and I haven't had a lot to give to blogging. My mom didn't make it down at the beginning of the month, she was very sick and almost ended up in the hospital. She is doing much better and is at her sister's in North Georgia visiting until Sunday. She is coming here on Sunday to spend a week or so with us.

I did get my promotion at work, it gave me an 8% pay increase which, based on the one pay check I have received since the increase became effective, should be very noticeable. I do have more responsibility, but not SO much more that it is overwhelming. I have set in my mind my next goals, which will require more effort to obtain, but are not at all out of reach.

The kids are growing like weeds and are enjoying the relatively mild spring we have had, they love the outdoors. Drew finishes 8th grade next Friday (the 26th) and then we have high school coming in the fall.

Well, that is all for now, hope everyone is doing well.

Olivia Isn't Tired

Olivia has decided she isn't tired tonight. She was being very good, playing quietly up in her bed, so we let her come downstairs with us. She snuggled with both of us, sat on my lap and played with some of my desktop items, had a granola bar, and is watching "Justice League." Sometimes you get special treats.

She took an AWESOME nap today, so that is probably why she is awake. She is being very sweet with everyone. She will probably get to sleep with Mama and Daddy...which is an extra-special treat for a little girl. Of course, watching Wonder Woman is her favorite part of the night. But she is excited about a slumber party, so I guess it is time to log off and go to bed. We are going to listen to one of the CDs from the Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince book on cd, and she thinks that is cool also. Good night everyone.

Grumpy...

I am very grumpy tonight. I am not sure why, but I am. Oh well, I will try not to bite anyone's head off, though I could do so with no effort at all.

Tomorrow is going to be somewhat busy. We have to go to Target, but only a quick run in and run out. I have a HUGE phone call to make and that could be time consuming, so it may get pushed back a day or so.

Also, my "tricky" reverse on my new car is more than tricky. I spent forever trying to get the damn thing in reverse after getting off of work the other morning and never did get it into reverse. I finally put the car in neutral and let it "roll" backwards after the parking deck had emptied out some, since rolling is much slower than reverse. So, tomorrow, we are taking the car back to the dealer and having them "fix" the problem, whatever it is. We are smelling the "clutch" smell some, so I am sure the clutch probably has some problems. But, I am not sure if there are any other gear box or transmission problems, so I want it ALL checked out.

I have driven a stick shift more in my life than I have ever driven an automatic, and I have never had these kind of problems, so SOMETHING is wrong. Of course, my new car is actually used. It is two years old and has almost 32000 miles on it, so I can't swear about the ability of the former owner with driving a stick shift.

I must admit some anxiety about going back to the dealership with a problem six days after we bought the car, but they do have a guarantee which the salesman talked up quite a bit. Not only is the car still under the original Nissan warranty, but the dealership offers a 30 day money back guarantee for any used car sale. The salesman played that up, like I said, because he wanted to make sure I knew that they wouldn't sell me a car and then tell me "tough" if something happened. Of course, I didn't think I would actually NEED that piece of information. Well, I don't really think I want my money back, I just want the problem fixed quickly and without hassle!

Maybe my anxiety is related to why I am so grumpy, that would make sense. Anxiety and the fact that I am exhausted. A good night's sleep and the trip to the dealer complete will be the cure. And, I am looking forward to my mom getting here.

Look for updates on the car situation. I will name my dealership in the next few days, as a compliment or a complaint will be up to them. I hope to be able to compliment them, because they treated us VERY WELL when we were there last week, I really hope that bodes well for "service after the sale."

I hope everyone else is doing well!

New Car

I love my new car. I know I said that below, but driving it to work tonight proved that to me in many ways. It was so easy to drive and manuever, both in the city and on the highway. With traffic being so bad here, I was a weensy bit worried about the stop and go with the stick shift, but it wasn't a problem at all. I was only worried because it has been so long since I drove stick, but I guess it really is one of those things you never forget.

The only challenge has been the reverse on the stick shift, there is a "trick" to get it into reverse, and of course the car manual doesn't explain that. I pretty much have it figured out now. I got it on the first try leaving home tonight, on the third try backing out of my parking space at the QuikTrip when I bought my big Diet Coke, and on the first try leaving Panera Bread tonight when I bought my dinner for work. Probably within a week I will have it completely figured out and won't remember what the problem was to begin with.

Though I hate going to the gas station at all these days, I am curious how much it will cost to fill up. It has a 13.1 gallon tank and, completely empty, at $3.00/gallon, would be $39.30. I guess the real test will be how often I have to fill up, so I am curious as to how the savings will really translate. Even at $40 per tank, I would have to fill up three times to equal the amount it would cost to fill the Suburban once with its 42 gallon tank.

Well, I should get back to work. Hope everyone is well!

I Put My Money Where My Mouth Is...

Okay, so I have been moaning and complaining along with everyone else about the current state of affairs with gas prices. Unfortunately, my pain has been increased because we have a Chevy Suburban. A week and a half ago it cost $108 to fill up from a very empty tank, and gas is MUCH higher now than it was then. I saw $2.85 and $2.95 today for regular unleaded. I think I paid in the $2.50 range last time. I have sort of justified this because we are a one car family, but even still, it has been getting really hard to swallow. Then, over the weekend, I read that gas prices will probably head to the $4.00 range this summer. I can't take $170 every two weeks for GAS. There is something wrong with that. It would be different I travelled in my job, but I don't. Of course, I do travel 25-30 miles one way to work, so I travel 150+ miles each week to and from work.

So, we decided to go car shopping. We bought a 2004 Nissan Sentra. It is a dream to drive. It has only two things that I would change, but they aren't important enough for me not to have bought this car. It is white and doesn't have cruise control, but that is all I would change. It is a 5 speed stick-shift, has a CD player, is four door, and has unbelievable pick up and go! The gas mileage is 28/35, which is SO much better than the Suburban. I can't wait to drive it to work and put some distance driving on it. The picture was taken in my driveway tonight.

So, now I have my new little car. Of course, I have a car payment, but my gas consumption is going to go way down, and I have a pretty new car with good safety features. Anyone else have ideas to help with the gas situation.

Michael

Michael is a young man I have taken care of a number of times at work. I have come to love Michael, he is a sweet boy, but at his age he would probably cringe to hear me say that. Michael is dying. There is no cure for Michael's condition(s). It is cruel to watch a child die.

Michael is not ready to accept the fact that he will not live. When talking about his prognosis, we are talking months, not years, not even one year. Michael comes from a dysfunctional home life. He prefers being in the hospital. He told me once that he didn't want to go home. However, I think part of Michael's difficulty in letting go is because none of his family has given him "permission" to die.

I would like to ask anyone reading this to pray for Michael, and his family. I will miss Michael very much when he is gone, as he is so sweet and his smile could melt the hardest of hearts. However, he lives in constant pain, and it would be selfish to ask that he continue in pain just because I want to see his smile.

Please pray for this sweet boy with the amazing smile. Please pray that he is able to go home to our Lord in peace and that he suffers as little as possible.

My Babies...

Spaghetti Sauce

Well, let me completely change directions and post about spaghetti sauce. My spaghetti sauce to be exact. There are very few things in this world that I boast about because most people who boast are obnoxious. However, my spaghetti sauce is one of those things that I do boast about, and boast loudly.

I make damned good spaghetti sauce. I wish I could say I learned how to make it from my grandmother, but she died when I was 11, so I can't say that. My maternal grandparents were both born in Italy and immigrated to the US when they were young. So, it goes without saying that my grandmother could make some awesome spaghetti sauce. I also didn't learn from my mom, not that she can't make it, but she was a single mom, so spaghetti came out of a box and a jar. Now, my mom can make some homemade spaghetti noodled to die for, but I don't remember her making homemade sauce.

I started making my own sauce a long time ago, and it was okay. Nothing bad, but nothing anyone would write home about either. It has been a work in progress for quite a while. When we lived in California, I hit upon perfection. My sauce was divine. My husband was mad at me because I made better spaghetti sauce than he did, and he had worked as a kitchen manager in an Italian restaurant. Of course, he got over being mad, and now just enjoys my sauce.

It is one of those things where I use the same basic ingredients, but I just pour in without measuring most things. My children LOVE my sauce as well. When I started making my sauce yesterday after breakfast, Olivia was ready for spaghetti NOW! Of course, she had just finished her cereal, but she didn't care. I don't think my kids would know what to do with sauce that came out of a jar, or (shudder) Spaghetti-O's.

Thomas makes an alfredo sauce to die for and I make an awesome red sauce. We have AWESOME pasta parties. Anyone want to come to one?

God is Love

My thoughts over the last few days have rested a lot on the idea of love, more specifically the idea of Christian love. Christians are commanded to love. Sometimes we do a wonderful job, sometimes we fail miserably. I don't understand some of the problems we Christians have with love; we try to tear each other down and we try to "prove" why our specific set of beliefs is "right" and why others' beliefs are "wrong."

I don't understand our need to do this, yet I openly admit I struggle with this at times. I am Catholic, born and raised. I was a teenager before I realized that there are many people who think Catholics are evil and that we pray to idols and that we are a cult. I was shocked when I learned this, shocked that anyone could believe such things about me. Of course, I am now older and not much shocks me anymore, which I guess is sad in its own way. But, back to the point, there are some things that I hold as self-evident, that anyone who is NOT Catholic would not believe, and I have tried to "prove" why I am right. Why did I do this? Why does anyone do this? I have no idea and I don't want to continue this any longer.

I am Catholic and I will continue to be Catholic. I will believe what I believe. I will also allow you to believe what you believe and I will not try to change your mind, I just ask for the same respect in return. I am willing to have open dialogues with you about our beliefs, but I will not allow you to be abusive to me and I will not be abusive to you. Please understand that I am not directing this to anyone in particular, my statements are just to "you" in general.

I have spent the better part of today reading Pope Benedict's Encyclical "God is Love." I am going to publish parts of his encyclical in three separate blog postings today. I have them ready to publish when I am done with this post. I invite anyone to read the excerpts, and I invite commentary. HOWEVER, please remember that Pope Benedict is Catholic and that some of his references and verbiage is going to be Catholic, he makes multiple references to Saints. If anyone disagrees with what the Pope has to say, please share that with me, HOWEVER I do not invite discussion (at this time) of the teachings and tenants of the Catholic Church. The following posts are about Love, Charity, and Service.

Let me say, I took the excerpts in order and have published them in order, however, this is not his Encyclical in its entirity. I took what jumped out to me and someone else could read and have completely different excerpts mean more to them. For those wishing to read the Encyclical in its entirity, here is the link to it on the Vatican website.

http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/benedict_xvi/encyclicals/documents/
hf_ben-xvi_enc_20051225_deus-caritas-est_en.html

On a final note, let us try to keep this in mind.

1 Corinthians 13

1If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Love Thy Neighbor

Having reflected on the nature of love and its meaning in biblical faith, we are left with two questions concerning our own attitude: can we love God without seeing him? And can love be commanded? Against the double commandment of love these questions raise a double objection. No one has ever seen God, so how could we love him? Moreover, love cannot be commanded; it is ultimately a feeling that is either there or not, nor can it be produced by the will. Scripture seems to reinforce the first objection when it states: “If anyone says, ‘I love God,' and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen” (1 Jn 4:20). But this text hardly excludes the love of God as something impossible. On the contrary, the whole context of the passage quoted from the First Letter of John shows that such love is explicitly demanded. The unbreakable bond between love of God and love of neighbor is emphasized. One is so closely connected to the other that to say that we love God becomes a lie if we are closed to our neighbor or hate him altogether. Saint John's words should rather be interpreted to mean that love of neighbor is a path that leads to the encounter with God, and that closing our eyes to our neighbor also blinds us to God.

Love of neighbor is thus shown to be possible in the way proclaimed by the Bible, by Jesus. It consists in the very fact that, in God and with God, I love even the person whom I do not like or even know. This can only take place on the basis of an intimate encounter with God, an encounter which has become a communion of will, even affecting my feelings. Then I learn to look on this other person not simply with my eyes and my feelings, but from the perspective of Jesus Christ. His friend is my friend. Going beyond exterior appearances, I perceive in others an interior desire for a sign of love, of concern. This I can offer them not only through the organizations intended for such purposes, accepting it perhaps as a political necessity. Seeing with the eyes of Christ, I can give to others much more than their outward necessities; I can give them the look of love which they crave. Here we see the necessary interplay between love of God and love of neighbor which the First Letter of John speaks of with such insistence. If I have no contact whatsoever with God in my life, then I cannot see in the other anything more than the other, and I am incapable of seeing in him the image of God. But if in my life I fail completely to heed others, solely out of a desire to be “devout” and to perform my “religious duties”, then my relationship with God will also grow arid. It becomes merely “proper”, but loveless. Only my readiness to encounter my neighbor and to show him love makes me sensitive to God as well. Only if I serve my neighbor can my eyes be opened to what God does for me and how much he loves me. The saints—consider the example of Blessed Teresa of Calcutta—constantly renewed their capacity for love of neighbor from their encounter with the Eucharistic Lord, and conversely this encounter acquired its real- ism and depth in their service to others. Love of God and love of neighbor are thus inseparable, they form a single commandment. But both live from the love of God who has loved us first. No longer is it a question, then, of a “commandment” imposed from without and calling for the impossible, but rather of a freely-bestowed experience of love from within, a love which by its very nature must then be shared with others. Love grows through love. Love is “divine” because it comes from God and unites us to God; through this unifying process it makes us a “we” which transcends our divisions and makes us one, until in the end God is “all in all” (1 Cor 15:28).

Charity

The Spirit is also the energy which transforms the heart of the ecclesial community, so that it becomes a witness before the world to the love of the Father, who wishes to make humanity a single family in his Son. The entire activity of the Church is an expression of a love that seeks the integral good of man: it seeks his evangelization through Word and Sacrament, an undertaking that is often heroic in the way it is acted out in history; and it seeks to promote man in the various arenas of life and human activity. Love is therefore the service that the Church carries out in order to attend constantly to man's sufferings and his needs, including material needs. And this is the aspect, this service of charity, on which I want to focus in the second part of the Encyclical.

Love of neighbor, grounded in the love of God, is first and foremost a responsibility for each individual member of the faithful, but it is also a responsibility for the entire ecclesial community at every level: from the local community to the particular Church and to the Church universal in its entirety. As a community, the Church must practice love. Love thus needs to be organized if it is to be an ordered service to the community. The awareness of this responsibility has had a constitutive relevance in the Church from the beginning: “All who believed were together and had all things in common; and they sold their possessions and goods and distributed them to all, as any had need” (Acts 2:44-5).

As the years went by and the Church spread further afield, the exercise of charity became established as one of her essential activities, along with the administration of the sacraments and the proclamation of the word: love for widows and orphans, prisoners, and the sick and needy of every kind, is as essential to her as the ministry of the sacraments and preaching of the Gospel. The Church cannot neglect the service of charity any more than she can neglect the Sacraments and the Word.

The Church's deepest nature is expressed in her three-fold responsibility: of proclaiming the word of God, celebrating the sacraments, and exercising the ministry of charity. These duties presuppose each other and are inseparable. For the Church, charity is not a kind of welfare activity which could equally well be left to others, but is a part of her nature, an indispensable expression of her very being.

The Church is God's family in the world. In this family no one ought to go without the necessities of life.

Today the means of mass communication have made our planet smaller, rapidly narrowing the distance between different peoples and cultures. This “togetherness” at times gives rise to misunderstandings and tensions, yet our ability to know almost instantly about the needs of others challenges us to share their situation and their difficulties. Despite the great advances made in science and technology, each day we see how much suffering there is in the world on account of different kinds of poverty, both material and spiritual. Our times call for a new readiness to assist our neighbors in need.

The increase in diversified organizations engaged in meeting various human needs is ultimately due to the fact that the command of love of neighbor is inscribed by the Creator in man's very nature.

Following the example given in the parable of the Good Samaritan, Christian charity is first of all the simple response to immediate needs and specific situations: feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, caring for and healing the sick, visiting those in prison, etc. The Church's charitable organizations, beginning with those of Caritas (at diocesan, national and international levels), ought to do everything in their power to provide the resources and above all the personnel needed for this work. Individuals who care for those in need must first be professionally competent: they should be properly trained in what to do and how to do it, and committed to continuing care. Yet, while professional competence is a primary, fundamental requirement, it is not of itself sufficient. We are dealing with human beings, and human beings always need something more than technically proper care. They need humanity. They need heartfelt concern. Those who work for the Church's charitable organizations must be distinguished by the fact that they do not merely meet the needs of the moment, but they dedicate themselves to others with heartfelt concern, enabling them to experience the richness of their humanity. Consequently, in addition to their necessary professional training, these charity workers need a “formation of the heart”: they need to be led to that encounter with God in Christ which awakens their love and opens their spirits to others. As a result, love of neighbour will no longer be for them a commandment imposed, so to speak, from without, but a consequence deriving from their faith, a faith which becomes active through love (cf. Gal 5:6)

Charity, furthermore, cannot be used as a means of engaging in what is nowadays considered proselytism. Love is free; it is not practiced as a way of achieving other ends. But this does not mean that charitable activity must somehow leave God and Christ aside. For it is always concerned with the whole man. Often the deepest cause of suffering is the very absence of God. Those who practice charity in the Church's name will never seek to impose the Church's faith upon others. They realize that a pure and generous love is the best witness to the God in whom we believe and by whom we are driven to love. A Christian knows when it is time to speak of God and when it is better to say nothing and to let love alone speak. He knows that God is love (cf. 1 Jn 4:8) and that God's presence is felt at the very time when the only thing we do is to love. He knows—to return to the questions raised earlier—that disdain for love is disdain for God and man alike; it is an attempt to do without God. Consequently, the best defense of God and man consists precisely in love. It is the responsibility of the Church's charitable organizations to reinforce this awareness in their members, so that by their activity—as well as their words, their silence, their example—they may be credible witnesses to Christ.

Service

This proper way of serving others also leads to humility. The one who serves does not consider himself superior to the one served, however miserable his situation at the moment may be. Christ took the lowest place in the world—the Cross—and by this radical humility he redeemed us and constantly comes to our aid. Those who are in a position to help others will realize that in doing so they themselves receive help; being able to help others is no merit or achievement of their own. This duty is a grace. The more we do for others, the more we understand and can appropriate the words of Christ: “We are useless servants” (Lk 17:10). We recognize that we are not acting on the basis of any superiority or greater personal efficiency, but because the Lord has graciously enabled us to do so. There are times when the burden of need and our own limitations might tempt us to become discouraged. But precisely then we are helped by the knowledge that, in the end, we are only instruments in the Lord's hands; and this knowledge frees us from the presumption of thinking that we alone are personally responsible for building a better world. In all humility we will do what we can, and in all humility we will entrust the rest to the Lord. It is God who governs the world, not we. We offer him our service only to the extent that we can, and for as long as he grants us the strength. To do all we can with what strength we have, however, is the task which keeps the good servant of Jesus Christ always at work: “The love of Christ urges us on” (2 Cor 5:14).

.It is time to reaffirm the importance of prayer in the face of the activism and the growing secularism of many Christians engaged in charitable work. Clearly, the Christian who prays does not claim to be able to change God's plans or correct what he has foreseen. Rather, he seeks an encounter with the Father of Jesus Christ, asking God to be present with the consolation of the Spirit to him and his work. A personal relationship with God and an abandonment to his will can prevent man from being demeaned and save him from falling prey to the teaching of fanaticism and terrorism. An authentically religious attitude prevents man from presuming to judge God, accusing him of allowing poverty and failing to have compassion for his creatures. When people claim to build a case against God in defense of man, on whom can they depend when human activity proves powerless?

Certainly Job could complain before God about the presence of incomprehensible and apparently unjustified suffering in the world. In his pain he cried out: “Oh, that I knew where I might find him, that I might come even to his seat! ... I would learn what he would answer me, and understand what he would say to me. Would he contend with me in the greatness of his power? ... Therefore I am terrified at his presence; when I consider, I am in dread of him. God has made my heart faint; the Almighty has terrified me” (23:3, 5-6, 15-16). Often we cannot understand why God refrains from intervening. Yet he does not prevent us from crying out, like Jesus on the Cross: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Mt 27:46). We should continue asking this question in prayerful dialogue before his face: “Lord, holy and true, how long will it be?” (Rev 6:10). It is Saint Augustine who gives us faith's answer to our sufferings: “Si comprehendis, non est Deus”—”if you understand him, he is not God.” Our protest is not meant to challenge God, or to suggest that error, weakness or indifference can be found in him. For the believer, it is impossible to imagine that God is powerless or that “perhaps he is asleep” (cf. 1 Kg 18:27). Instead, our crying out is, as it was for Jesus on the Cross, the deepest and most radical way of affirming our faith in his sovereign power. Even in their bewilderment and failure to understand the world around them, Christians continue to believe in the “goodness and loving kindness of God” (Tit 3:4). Immersed like everyone else in the dramatic complexity of historical events, they remain unshakably certain that God is our Father and loves us, even when his silence remains incomprehensible.

Love is the light—and in the end, the only light—that can always illuminate a world grown dim and give us the courage needed to keep living and working. Love is possible, and we are able to practice it because we are created in the image of God.

Easter and Religion

Where do people get off telling people how they should celebrate Easter? Where do they get off telling people the way their church celebrates Easter is wrong? Who the heck do they think they are? God? I don't think so.

I was born and raised Catholic, Easter and the entire Holy Week is the most important time of the year. I felt the yearnings to go to Mass on Holy Thursday, Good Friday, and to the Easter Vigil Mass on Saturday night. Of course, I never really went to church on Easter Sunday, except on a few occasions, the main reason is the Easter and Christmas Catholics showed up and there was no place to sit.

The Easter Vigil is one of my favorite Masses of the year. The individuals who wish to become Catholic finish their journey this night. They get baptized (only if they have never been baptized as a Christian before) and they get to take Communion for the first time. It is such an overwhelming, beautiful experience.

However, I am a nurse, and I work weekends. I work every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night. This does not change because it is Holy Week. So, I went to work and took care of some beautiful children who could not be home for the holiday. I even got to check on the beautiful child mentioned in my post below. He is doing well enough physically, if not emotionally. The County is looking for a foster home for him, but with his medical issues, they are having a hard time. People don't mind emotional problems it seems, but physical problems seem to be daunting. I would bring him home if I could, he is so beautiful and so fragile.

Now, I have to say, that everyone celebrates Easter in their own way. Some people don't celebrate it at all. We are guaranteed freedom of religion in this country, we get to believe what we want to believe and we get to worship in the way we choose. We get to choose NOT to worship at all if that is what we want. However, some people feel their beliefs are superior to everyone else's beliefs, and if others don't worship in the same way they do, then it is wrong.

No one gets it all right, and none of us are perfect so we don't get to tell others that their beliefs are wrong. All we can do is live our beliefs and allow our lives to be an outward reflection of those beliefs. To nitpick shows that the person is petty and selfish, not a very good outward reflection of Christ. Christians are commanded to love one another and love God, this is how we should base all of our interactions.

Happy Easter everyone.

Child Abuse

Early this morning, towards the end of my shift, I admitted a child with an injury that was reported by his mom as an accident. I am not going to go into details, but no matter how hard I rack my brain, I can't figure out how it could be accidental. I know the story of how mom says it happened, however I can't think of any possible way for this to have happened the way it is reported.

I looked at this beautiful little boy about the same age as one of my children and my heart just broke. Of course, Social Services is involved and the child has been removed from mom's custody until an investigation is complete. Unfortunately this means that this child will be in the hospital all alone, and a young child can't understand why no one is with him, because even if his mom is the one who hurt him, she is still who he is going to want with him as he is very young.

I just don't understand.

I Love My New Computer

This thing is unbelievable. I wanted a Mac, and I still do, but we couldn't really afford it at this time, so I can wait till next time. I bought a Gateway. This thing has a huge hard drive and is unbelievably fast. I have to admit that one of my favorite parts is the keyboard. After two years of using laptops as my main home computer, I love the full sized keyboard and I adore the number pad. I know, I know, this is silly, but I can't help it. Also the keyboard types very nicely as well, I love the way the keys type! I am very, very happy and I haven't even mentioned the 19 inch monitor!!!

Okay, now onto what I am not liking right now. I HATE moving. I hate it, I know I shouldn't hate anything, but I hate moving. Thankfully, we only moved about four minutes from our old house, so we are able to move slower than when we moved across country, which meant EVERYTHING had to be packed and moved at the same time. Here we moved all the big furniture in one day, as well as the kitchen stuff. We have been able to move other things over the last couple days. We aren't quite done yet, but we will be soon.

We would be further along if the stupid Suburban hadn't started acting crazy on Monday evening. We took it to get checked out. Can you say $653.12??? All eight spark plugs, ignitions wires, air filter, pcv valve, distributor rotor, distributor cap, front left caliper, and fuel system tune up!!! Most of the problems were caused because the person we bought it from did his own repairs, and thought he knew what he was doing. Unfortunately, he thought wrong. The caliper broke because a bolt was left off. All the other stuff had to do with incorrectly replacing the spark plugs and wires, we were told if we hadn't come in as quickly as we did the catalytic converter would have burned out and we would have spent $2000 -$4000 to fix that and all the other problems. I guess $653.12 is easier to swallow in this light, but it still a bitter pill coming on the heels (and expenses) of moving.

I hope everyone is doing well.

Congresswoman McKinney - The Shame of Georgia

I was just reading a news article online about Congresswoman McKinney who apparently hit a cop who tried to restrain her after she did not stop as requested THREE TIMES while going through a security checkpoint. She claims to be a victim of racism, unfortunately I think she is a victim of stupidity.

Lesson one, If a cop says stop, you stop. Period. If you don't stop, a cop can force you to stop. You may not hit a cop. Ever. Period. Every kindergartener knows this, why doesn't Congresswoman McKinney?

As a current resident of Georgia, I am ashamed to have this woman represent me. Beside the fact that she ignored an officer of the law when he issued a command, she is playing the race card. Our elected officials our subject to the same laws as the rest of us and they cannot ignore a police officer (or hit one) anymore than I can. She wasn't stopped because she is black, she was stopped because she walked through a security checkpoint without wearing the lapel pin that identifies members of Congress and allows them to be waved through.

Lesson two, if a lapel pin grants you a free pass and you forget to wear your lapel pin, you have to stop like everyone else.

I am sorry that Congresswoman McKinney's ego is bruised because this police officer failed to recognize her, but there are 435 members of the House and 100 in the Senate. 535 faces are a lot for any one person to remember at all times.

She owes the police officer an apology and should be charged with assaulting said police officer. She also owes the citizens of Georgia and the United States for failing to live up to the office that she was elected to serve. She also owes an apology for playing the race card, she should be ashamed of herself. I know I am.

????????????

I don't have a lot to talk about right now. However, I do have a lot that I am thinking about. The murder of Matthew Winkler by his wife Mary. I have posted a few times about this issue on another person's blog. I haven't really posted on my own, but I am going to copy my posts from the other blog, because I think they reflect my thoughts very well and anything else I type would just be re-wording what I have already written.

Response 1:
I am not sure why everyone is so surprised about this. Yes, it is shocking when a wife kills her husband, but I think everyone is making a big deal out of this because he is a preacher. When everything boils down, it is still just a woman who killed her husband.

I read online a little while ago that the police know what her motive was, but they aren't giving details. I am very curious about the motive, because she had to have killed him for a reason. While, I don't agree with murder in anyway, I can understand a few motives.

I think we hold preachers (and by association, their wives) to a higher standard than we hold "regular" people. I don't think this is necessarily fair because preachers are just human, like the rest of us. They sin, and they fall short of the glory of God, just like the rest of us. They, like us, are covered by the same blood of Christ.

I will say prayers for his family, her family, and their precious little girls. These poor girls have to live forever with the idea that their mommy killed their daddy and that is a terrible burden, no matter WHY she did it.


Response 2:
To be honest, my comments about being shocked weren't really about you and those familiar with the individuals involved. I should have clarified that in my response.

The media is presenting this in such a way that there is MORE shock involved because this is a preacher and his wife. I don't know if it is for hype and ratings, or what the reason is, but to most people this shouldn't be really different than if the banker's wife killed her husband or the trash man's wife killed her husband.

Yes, to people who know the couple this would be harder to accept. Believe me, when I turned on the news and saw the story involving my aunt and cousin, it was disheartening. Of course, anything with child abuse/endangerment is always bad, just as murder is, it does make you feel different when you know the individuals involved.


Response 3:
Not being raised in the Church of Christ, I can't answer from first-hand knowledge, however, my experiences say that I can understand why some folks would feel that murder was the only way out.

I was raised Catholic (which also has strict rules about divorce,) but I had an aunt leave the Catholic Church and marry a man who was/is a member of the Church of Christ. Their daughters were both raised Church of Christ as well. Their youngest daughter (my cousin,) who is about 40 or 41 married a good Church of Christ boy. He proceeded to be abusive, though not physically. He was more of the verbal/mental abuse sort. He counted cookies, weighed her daily, berated her for going out for lunch with another of our cousins and accused her of looking for other men (so NOT true.)

Well, I talked to my mom on the phone the other night while driving to work and she said she had shocking news, my cousin told her parents she was divorced and had been so for an ENTIRE YEAR. She and her ex had done things together for appearances, etc.

I can't imagine being so fearful of telling your family that you are divorcing/divorced, but that is where she has been on this. She also told them she has been in college and is one year away from finishing the degree she was working on when she got married and "had to quit" college almost twenty years ago.

So, yes, I can see how some would believe that murder would be considered more acceptable, even though the idea is SHOCKING to me.

M. Night Shyamalan

M. Night Shyamalan is an awesome movie director. He makes movies that I like to watch. Movies that feature a human aspect, but have some suspense, and always have a twist to them. Now the twist is something that I have come to expect from him, so for me, the challenge is figuring out what that twist is for any given movie. In his most recent movie, "The Village," Thomas and I both figured out what the twist was, but that didn't diminish our enjoyment of it at all. We are actually watching the movie right now, which is what brought on this blog.

I first saw "The Sixth Sense" at the movies all by myself. Drew wanted to see "Pokemon 2000" or something along those lines and I had NO desire to put myself through that, so I went to a separate move. Had I really had a clue about "The Sixth Sense" I wouldn't have watched it alone, however the movie was truly awesome and I had NO IDEA how the movie was going to end. I have since watched the movie many times, and have watched it a few times with people who hadn't seen it before, and it is amazing to watch their faces as all the pieces fall into place.

Thomas and I saw "Unbreakable" together, and again, our response was one of surprise, but we enjoyed the movie immensely. We also saw "Signs" together, and though many folks we know have scoffed at the movie, we both liked it also. Actually, "Signs" scared the crap out of Thomas who wanted to sleep with all the doors shut in our basement in our house in St. Louis (our basement was fully finished and our bedroom was in the basement.) As I said, we watched "The Village" together and did figure it out, but it was great as well.

"The Lady in the Water" is to come out this summer from what I understand. Drew, Possum, and I saw the preview when we went to see Harry Potter this past Thanksgiving. I remember watching the preview, thinking that the movie didn't seem interesting at all, and what was it about anyway. Well, all of a sudden, after a really slow preview, the name "M. Night Shyamalan" came up on the screen, and my entire attitude changed. All of a sudden, I was VERY interested and I couldn't wait for the movie to come out. I still can't.

M. Night Shyamalan is a fantastic writer and director in my mind. He reminds me some of Poe or Hitchcock, but not quite as dark as either.