Grumpy...

I am very grumpy tonight. I am not sure why, but I am. Oh well, I will try not to bite anyone's head off, though I could do so with no effort at all.

Tomorrow is going to be somewhat busy. We have to go to Target, but only a quick run in and run out. I have a HUGE phone call to make and that could be time consuming, so it may get pushed back a day or so.

Also, my "tricky" reverse on my new car is more than tricky. I spent forever trying to get the damn thing in reverse after getting off of work the other morning and never did get it into reverse. I finally put the car in neutral and let it "roll" backwards after the parking deck had emptied out some, since rolling is much slower than reverse. So, tomorrow, we are taking the car back to the dealer and having them "fix" the problem, whatever it is. We are smelling the "clutch" smell some, so I am sure the clutch probably has some problems. But, I am not sure if there are any other gear box or transmission problems, so I want it ALL checked out.

I have driven a stick shift more in my life than I have ever driven an automatic, and I have never had these kind of problems, so SOMETHING is wrong. Of course, my new car is actually used. It is two years old and has almost 32000 miles on it, so I can't swear about the ability of the former owner with driving a stick shift.

I must admit some anxiety about going back to the dealership with a problem six days after we bought the car, but they do have a guarantee which the salesman talked up quite a bit. Not only is the car still under the original Nissan warranty, but the dealership offers a 30 day money back guarantee for any used car sale. The salesman played that up, like I said, because he wanted to make sure I knew that they wouldn't sell me a car and then tell me "tough" if something happened. Of course, I didn't think I would actually NEED that piece of information. Well, I don't really think I want my money back, I just want the problem fixed quickly and without hassle!

Maybe my anxiety is related to why I am so grumpy, that would make sense. Anxiety and the fact that I am exhausted. A good night's sleep and the trip to the dealer complete will be the cure. And, I am looking forward to my mom getting here.

Look for updates on the car situation. I will name my dealership in the next few days, as a compliment or a complaint will be up to them. I hope to be able to compliment them, because they treated us VERY WELL when we were there last week, I really hope that bodes well for "service after the sale."

I hope everyone else is doing well!

New Car

I love my new car. I know I said that below, but driving it to work tonight proved that to me in many ways. It was so easy to drive and manuever, both in the city and on the highway. With traffic being so bad here, I was a weensy bit worried about the stop and go with the stick shift, but it wasn't a problem at all. I was only worried because it has been so long since I drove stick, but I guess it really is one of those things you never forget.

The only challenge has been the reverse on the stick shift, there is a "trick" to get it into reverse, and of course the car manual doesn't explain that. I pretty much have it figured out now. I got it on the first try leaving home tonight, on the third try backing out of my parking space at the QuikTrip when I bought my big Diet Coke, and on the first try leaving Panera Bread tonight when I bought my dinner for work. Probably within a week I will have it completely figured out and won't remember what the problem was to begin with.

Though I hate going to the gas station at all these days, I am curious how much it will cost to fill up. It has a 13.1 gallon tank and, completely empty, at $3.00/gallon, would be $39.30. I guess the real test will be how often I have to fill up, so I am curious as to how the savings will really translate. Even at $40 per tank, I would have to fill up three times to equal the amount it would cost to fill the Suburban once with its 42 gallon tank.

Well, I should get back to work. Hope everyone is well!

I Put My Money Where My Mouth Is...

Okay, so I have been moaning and complaining along with everyone else about the current state of affairs with gas prices. Unfortunately, my pain has been increased because we have a Chevy Suburban. A week and a half ago it cost $108 to fill up from a very empty tank, and gas is MUCH higher now than it was then. I saw $2.85 and $2.95 today for regular unleaded. I think I paid in the $2.50 range last time. I have sort of justified this because we are a one car family, but even still, it has been getting really hard to swallow. Then, over the weekend, I read that gas prices will probably head to the $4.00 range this summer. I can't take $170 every two weeks for GAS. There is something wrong with that. It would be different I travelled in my job, but I don't. Of course, I do travel 25-30 miles one way to work, so I travel 150+ miles each week to and from work.

So, we decided to go car shopping. We bought a 2004 Nissan Sentra. It is a dream to drive. It has only two things that I would change, but they aren't important enough for me not to have bought this car. It is white and doesn't have cruise control, but that is all I would change. It is a 5 speed stick-shift, has a CD player, is four door, and has unbelievable pick up and go! The gas mileage is 28/35, which is SO much better than the Suburban. I can't wait to drive it to work and put some distance driving on it. The picture was taken in my driveway tonight.

So, now I have my new little car. Of course, I have a car payment, but my gas consumption is going to go way down, and I have a pretty new car with good safety features. Anyone else have ideas to help with the gas situation.

Michael

Michael is a young man I have taken care of a number of times at work. I have come to love Michael, he is a sweet boy, but at his age he would probably cringe to hear me say that. Michael is dying. There is no cure for Michael's condition(s). It is cruel to watch a child die.

Michael is not ready to accept the fact that he will not live. When talking about his prognosis, we are talking months, not years, not even one year. Michael comes from a dysfunctional home life. He prefers being in the hospital. He told me once that he didn't want to go home. However, I think part of Michael's difficulty in letting go is because none of his family has given him "permission" to die.

I would like to ask anyone reading this to pray for Michael, and his family. I will miss Michael very much when he is gone, as he is so sweet and his smile could melt the hardest of hearts. However, he lives in constant pain, and it would be selfish to ask that he continue in pain just because I want to see his smile.

Please pray for this sweet boy with the amazing smile. Please pray that he is able to go home to our Lord in peace and that he suffers as little as possible.

My Babies...

Spaghetti Sauce

Well, let me completely change directions and post about spaghetti sauce. My spaghetti sauce to be exact. There are very few things in this world that I boast about because most people who boast are obnoxious. However, my spaghetti sauce is one of those things that I do boast about, and boast loudly.

I make damned good spaghetti sauce. I wish I could say I learned how to make it from my grandmother, but she died when I was 11, so I can't say that. My maternal grandparents were both born in Italy and immigrated to the US when they were young. So, it goes without saying that my grandmother could make some awesome spaghetti sauce. I also didn't learn from my mom, not that she can't make it, but she was a single mom, so spaghetti came out of a box and a jar. Now, my mom can make some homemade spaghetti noodled to die for, but I don't remember her making homemade sauce.

I started making my own sauce a long time ago, and it was okay. Nothing bad, but nothing anyone would write home about either. It has been a work in progress for quite a while. When we lived in California, I hit upon perfection. My sauce was divine. My husband was mad at me because I made better spaghetti sauce than he did, and he had worked as a kitchen manager in an Italian restaurant. Of course, he got over being mad, and now just enjoys my sauce.

It is one of those things where I use the same basic ingredients, but I just pour in without measuring most things. My children LOVE my sauce as well. When I started making my sauce yesterday after breakfast, Olivia was ready for spaghetti NOW! Of course, she had just finished her cereal, but she didn't care. I don't think my kids would know what to do with sauce that came out of a jar, or (shudder) Spaghetti-O's.

Thomas makes an alfredo sauce to die for and I make an awesome red sauce. We have AWESOME pasta parties. Anyone want to come to one?

God is Love

My thoughts over the last few days have rested a lot on the idea of love, more specifically the idea of Christian love. Christians are commanded to love. Sometimes we do a wonderful job, sometimes we fail miserably. I don't understand some of the problems we Christians have with love; we try to tear each other down and we try to "prove" why our specific set of beliefs is "right" and why others' beliefs are "wrong."

I don't understand our need to do this, yet I openly admit I struggle with this at times. I am Catholic, born and raised. I was a teenager before I realized that there are many people who think Catholics are evil and that we pray to idols and that we are a cult. I was shocked when I learned this, shocked that anyone could believe such things about me. Of course, I am now older and not much shocks me anymore, which I guess is sad in its own way. But, back to the point, there are some things that I hold as self-evident, that anyone who is NOT Catholic would not believe, and I have tried to "prove" why I am right. Why did I do this? Why does anyone do this? I have no idea and I don't want to continue this any longer.

I am Catholic and I will continue to be Catholic. I will believe what I believe. I will also allow you to believe what you believe and I will not try to change your mind, I just ask for the same respect in return. I am willing to have open dialogues with you about our beliefs, but I will not allow you to be abusive to me and I will not be abusive to you. Please understand that I am not directing this to anyone in particular, my statements are just to "you" in general.

I have spent the better part of today reading Pope Benedict's Encyclical "God is Love." I am going to publish parts of his encyclical in three separate blog postings today. I have them ready to publish when I am done with this post. I invite anyone to read the excerpts, and I invite commentary. HOWEVER, please remember that Pope Benedict is Catholic and that some of his references and verbiage is going to be Catholic, he makes multiple references to Saints. If anyone disagrees with what the Pope has to say, please share that with me, HOWEVER I do not invite discussion (at this time) of the teachings and tenants of the Catholic Church. The following posts are about Love, Charity, and Service.

Let me say, I took the excerpts in order and have published them in order, however, this is not his Encyclical in its entirity. I took what jumped out to me and someone else could read and have completely different excerpts mean more to them. For those wishing to read the Encyclical in its entirity, here is the link to it on the Vatican website.

http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/benedict_xvi/encyclicals/documents/
hf_ben-xvi_enc_20051225_deus-caritas-est_en.html

On a final note, let us try to keep this in mind.

1 Corinthians 13

1If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Love Thy Neighbor

Having reflected on the nature of love and its meaning in biblical faith, we are left with two questions concerning our own attitude: can we love God without seeing him? And can love be commanded? Against the double commandment of love these questions raise a double objection. No one has ever seen God, so how could we love him? Moreover, love cannot be commanded; it is ultimately a feeling that is either there or not, nor can it be produced by the will. Scripture seems to reinforce the first objection when it states: “If anyone says, ‘I love God,' and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen” (1 Jn 4:20). But this text hardly excludes the love of God as something impossible. On the contrary, the whole context of the passage quoted from the First Letter of John shows that such love is explicitly demanded. The unbreakable bond between love of God and love of neighbor is emphasized. One is so closely connected to the other that to say that we love God becomes a lie if we are closed to our neighbor or hate him altogether. Saint John's words should rather be interpreted to mean that love of neighbor is a path that leads to the encounter with God, and that closing our eyes to our neighbor also blinds us to God.

Love of neighbor is thus shown to be possible in the way proclaimed by the Bible, by Jesus. It consists in the very fact that, in God and with God, I love even the person whom I do not like or even know. This can only take place on the basis of an intimate encounter with God, an encounter which has become a communion of will, even affecting my feelings. Then I learn to look on this other person not simply with my eyes and my feelings, but from the perspective of Jesus Christ. His friend is my friend. Going beyond exterior appearances, I perceive in others an interior desire for a sign of love, of concern. This I can offer them not only through the organizations intended for such purposes, accepting it perhaps as a political necessity. Seeing with the eyes of Christ, I can give to others much more than their outward necessities; I can give them the look of love which they crave. Here we see the necessary interplay between love of God and love of neighbor which the First Letter of John speaks of with such insistence. If I have no contact whatsoever with God in my life, then I cannot see in the other anything more than the other, and I am incapable of seeing in him the image of God. But if in my life I fail completely to heed others, solely out of a desire to be “devout” and to perform my “religious duties”, then my relationship with God will also grow arid. It becomes merely “proper”, but loveless. Only my readiness to encounter my neighbor and to show him love makes me sensitive to God as well. Only if I serve my neighbor can my eyes be opened to what God does for me and how much he loves me. The saints—consider the example of Blessed Teresa of Calcutta—constantly renewed their capacity for love of neighbor from their encounter with the Eucharistic Lord, and conversely this encounter acquired its real- ism and depth in their service to others. Love of God and love of neighbor are thus inseparable, they form a single commandment. But both live from the love of God who has loved us first. No longer is it a question, then, of a “commandment” imposed from without and calling for the impossible, but rather of a freely-bestowed experience of love from within, a love which by its very nature must then be shared with others. Love grows through love. Love is “divine” because it comes from God and unites us to God; through this unifying process it makes us a “we” which transcends our divisions and makes us one, until in the end God is “all in all” (1 Cor 15:28).

Charity

The Spirit is also the energy which transforms the heart of the ecclesial community, so that it becomes a witness before the world to the love of the Father, who wishes to make humanity a single family in his Son. The entire activity of the Church is an expression of a love that seeks the integral good of man: it seeks his evangelization through Word and Sacrament, an undertaking that is often heroic in the way it is acted out in history; and it seeks to promote man in the various arenas of life and human activity. Love is therefore the service that the Church carries out in order to attend constantly to man's sufferings and his needs, including material needs. And this is the aspect, this service of charity, on which I want to focus in the second part of the Encyclical.

Love of neighbor, grounded in the love of God, is first and foremost a responsibility for each individual member of the faithful, but it is also a responsibility for the entire ecclesial community at every level: from the local community to the particular Church and to the Church universal in its entirety. As a community, the Church must practice love. Love thus needs to be organized if it is to be an ordered service to the community. The awareness of this responsibility has had a constitutive relevance in the Church from the beginning: “All who believed were together and had all things in common; and they sold their possessions and goods and distributed them to all, as any had need” (Acts 2:44-5).

As the years went by and the Church spread further afield, the exercise of charity became established as one of her essential activities, along with the administration of the sacraments and the proclamation of the word: love for widows and orphans, prisoners, and the sick and needy of every kind, is as essential to her as the ministry of the sacraments and preaching of the Gospel. The Church cannot neglect the service of charity any more than she can neglect the Sacraments and the Word.

The Church's deepest nature is expressed in her three-fold responsibility: of proclaiming the word of God, celebrating the sacraments, and exercising the ministry of charity. These duties presuppose each other and are inseparable. For the Church, charity is not a kind of welfare activity which could equally well be left to others, but is a part of her nature, an indispensable expression of her very being.

The Church is God's family in the world. In this family no one ought to go without the necessities of life.

Today the means of mass communication have made our planet smaller, rapidly narrowing the distance between different peoples and cultures. This “togetherness” at times gives rise to misunderstandings and tensions, yet our ability to know almost instantly about the needs of others challenges us to share their situation and their difficulties. Despite the great advances made in science and technology, each day we see how much suffering there is in the world on account of different kinds of poverty, both material and spiritual. Our times call for a new readiness to assist our neighbors in need.

The increase in diversified organizations engaged in meeting various human needs is ultimately due to the fact that the command of love of neighbor is inscribed by the Creator in man's very nature.

Following the example given in the parable of the Good Samaritan, Christian charity is first of all the simple response to immediate needs and specific situations: feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, caring for and healing the sick, visiting those in prison, etc. The Church's charitable organizations, beginning with those of Caritas (at diocesan, national and international levels), ought to do everything in their power to provide the resources and above all the personnel needed for this work. Individuals who care for those in need must first be professionally competent: they should be properly trained in what to do and how to do it, and committed to continuing care. Yet, while professional competence is a primary, fundamental requirement, it is not of itself sufficient. We are dealing with human beings, and human beings always need something more than technically proper care. They need humanity. They need heartfelt concern. Those who work for the Church's charitable organizations must be distinguished by the fact that they do not merely meet the needs of the moment, but they dedicate themselves to others with heartfelt concern, enabling them to experience the richness of their humanity. Consequently, in addition to their necessary professional training, these charity workers need a “formation of the heart”: they need to be led to that encounter with God in Christ which awakens their love and opens their spirits to others. As a result, love of neighbour will no longer be for them a commandment imposed, so to speak, from without, but a consequence deriving from their faith, a faith which becomes active through love (cf. Gal 5:6)

Charity, furthermore, cannot be used as a means of engaging in what is nowadays considered proselytism. Love is free; it is not practiced as a way of achieving other ends. But this does not mean that charitable activity must somehow leave God and Christ aside. For it is always concerned with the whole man. Often the deepest cause of suffering is the very absence of God. Those who practice charity in the Church's name will never seek to impose the Church's faith upon others. They realize that a pure and generous love is the best witness to the God in whom we believe and by whom we are driven to love. A Christian knows when it is time to speak of God and when it is better to say nothing and to let love alone speak. He knows that God is love (cf. 1 Jn 4:8) and that God's presence is felt at the very time when the only thing we do is to love. He knows—to return to the questions raised earlier—that disdain for love is disdain for God and man alike; it is an attempt to do without God. Consequently, the best defense of God and man consists precisely in love. It is the responsibility of the Church's charitable organizations to reinforce this awareness in their members, so that by their activity—as well as their words, their silence, their example—they may be credible witnesses to Christ.

Service

This proper way of serving others also leads to humility. The one who serves does not consider himself superior to the one served, however miserable his situation at the moment may be. Christ took the lowest place in the world—the Cross—and by this radical humility he redeemed us and constantly comes to our aid. Those who are in a position to help others will realize that in doing so they themselves receive help; being able to help others is no merit or achievement of their own. This duty is a grace. The more we do for others, the more we understand and can appropriate the words of Christ: “We are useless servants” (Lk 17:10). We recognize that we are not acting on the basis of any superiority or greater personal efficiency, but because the Lord has graciously enabled us to do so. There are times when the burden of need and our own limitations might tempt us to become discouraged. But precisely then we are helped by the knowledge that, in the end, we are only instruments in the Lord's hands; and this knowledge frees us from the presumption of thinking that we alone are personally responsible for building a better world. In all humility we will do what we can, and in all humility we will entrust the rest to the Lord. It is God who governs the world, not we. We offer him our service only to the extent that we can, and for as long as he grants us the strength. To do all we can with what strength we have, however, is the task which keeps the good servant of Jesus Christ always at work: “The love of Christ urges us on” (2 Cor 5:14).

.It is time to reaffirm the importance of prayer in the face of the activism and the growing secularism of many Christians engaged in charitable work. Clearly, the Christian who prays does not claim to be able to change God's plans or correct what he has foreseen. Rather, he seeks an encounter with the Father of Jesus Christ, asking God to be present with the consolation of the Spirit to him and his work. A personal relationship with God and an abandonment to his will can prevent man from being demeaned and save him from falling prey to the teaching of fanaticism and terrorism. An authentically religious attitude prevents man from presuming to judge God, accusing him of allowing poverty and failing to have compassion for his creatures. When people claim to build a case against God in defense of man, on whom can they depend when human activity proves powerless?

Certainly Job could complain before God about the presence of incomprehensible and apparently unjustified suffering in the world. In his pain he cried out: “Oh, that I knew where I might find him, that I might come even to his seat! ... I would learn what he would answer me, and understand what he would say to me. Would he contend with me in the greatness of his power? ... Therefore I am terrified at his presence; when I consider, I am in dread of him. God has made my heart faint; the Almighty has terrified me” (23:3, 5-6, 15-16). Often we cannot understand why God refrains from intervening. Yet he does not prevent us from crying out, like Jesus on the Cross: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Mt 27:46). We should continue asking this question in prayerful dialogue before his face: “Lord, holy and true, how long will it be?” (Rev 6:10). It is Saint Augustine who gives us faith's answer to our sufferings: “Si comprehendis, non est Deus”—”if you understand him, he is not God.” Our protest is not meant to challenge God, or to suggest that error, weakness or indifference can be found in him. For the believer, it is impossible to imagine that God is powerless or that “perhaps he is asleep” (cf. 1 Kg 18:27). Instead, our crying out is, as it was for Jesus on the Cross, the deepest and most radical way of affirming our faith in his sovereign power. Even in their bewilderment and failure to understand the world around them, Christians continue to believe in the “goodness and loving kindness of God” (Tit 3:4). Immersed like everyone else in the dramatic complexity of historical events, they remain unshakably certain that God is our Father and loves us, even when his silence remains incomprehensible.

Love is the light—and in the end, the only light—that can always illuminate a world grown dim and give us the courage needed to keep living and working. Love is possible, and we are able to practice it because we are created in the image of God.

Easter and Religion

Where do people get off telling people how they should celebrate Easter? Where do they get off telling people the way their church celebrates Easter is wrong? Who the heck do they think they are? God? I don't think so.

I was born and raised Catholic, Easter and the entire Holy Week is the most important time of the year. I felt the yearnings to go to Mass on Holy Thursday, Good Friday, and to the Easter Vigil Mass on Saturday night. Of course, I never really went to church on Easter Sunday, except on a few occasions, the main reason is the Easter and Christmas Catholics showed up and there was no place to sit.

The Easter Vigil is one of my favorite Masses of the year. The individuals who wish to become Catholic finish their journey this night. They get baptized (only if they have never been baptized as a Christian before) and they get to take Communion for the first time. It is such an overwhelming, beautiful experience.

However, I am a nurse, and I work weekends. I work every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night. This does not change because it is Holy Week. So, I went to work and took care of some beautiful children who could not be home for the holiday. I even got to check on the beautiful child mentioned in my post below. He is doing well enough physically, if not emotionally. The County is looking for a foster home for him, but with his medical issues, they are having a hard time. People don't mind emotional problems it seems, but physical problems seem to be daunting. I would bring him home if I could, he is so beautiful and so fragile.

Now, I have to say, that everyone celebrates Easter in their own way. Some people don't celebrate it at all. We are guaranteed freedom of religion in this country, we get to believe what we want to believe and we get to worship in the way we choose. We get to choose NOT to worship at all if that is what we want. However, some people feel their beliefs are superior to everyone else's beliefs, and if others don't worship in the same way they do, then it is wrong.

No one gets it all right, and none of us are perfect so we don't get to tell others that their beliefs are wrong. All we can do is live our beliefs and allow our lives to be an outward reflection of those beliefs. To nitpick shows that the person is petty and selfish, not a very good outward reflection of Christ. Christians are commanded to love one another and love God, this is how we should base all of our interactions.

Happy Easter everyone.

Child Abuse

Early this morning, towards the end of my shift, I admitted a child with an injury that was reported by his mom as an accident. I am not going to go into details, but no matter how hard I rack my brain, I can't figure out how it could be accidental. I know the story of how mom says it happened, however I can't think of any possible way for this to have happened the way it is reported.

I looked at this beautiful little boy about the same age as one of my children and my heart just broke. Of course, Social Services is involved and the child has been removed from mom's custody until an investigation is complete. Unfortunately this means that this child will be in the hospital all alone, and a young child can't understand why no one is with him, because even if his mom is the one who hurt him, she is still who he is going to want with him as he is very young.

I just don't understand.

I Love My New Computer

This thing is unbelievable. I wanted a Mac, and I still do, but we couldn't really afford it at this time, so I can wait till next time. I bought a Gateway. This thing has a huge hard drive and is unbelievably fast. I have to admit that one of my favorite parts is the keyboard. After two years of using laptops as my main home computer, I love the full sized keyboard and I adore the number pad. I know, I know, this is silly, but I can't help it. Also the keyboard types very nicely as well, I love the way the keys type! I am very, very happy and I haven't even mentioned the 19 inch monitor!!!

Okay, now onto what I am not liking right now. I HATE moving. I hate it, I know I shouldn't hate anything, but I hate moving. Thankfully, we only moved about four minutes from our old house, so we are able to move slower than when we moved across country, which meant EVERYTHING had to be packed and moved at the same time. Here we moved all the big furniture in one day, as well as the kitchen stuff. We have been able to move other things over the last couple days. We aren't quite done yet, but we will be soon.

We would be further along if the stupid Suburban hadn't started acting crazy on Monday evening. We took it to get checked out. Can you say $653.12??? All eight spark plugs, ignitions wires, air filter, pcv valve, distributor rotor, distributor cap, front left caliper, and fuel system tune up!!! Most of the problems were caused because the person we bought it from did his own repairs, and thought he knew what he was doing. Unfortunately, he thought wrong. The caliper broke because a bolt was left off. All the other stuff had to do with incorrectly replacing the spark plugs and wires, we were told if we hadn't come in as quickly as we did the catalytic converter would have burned out and we would have spent $2000 -$4000 to fix that and all the other problems. I guess $653.12 is easier to swallow in this light, but it still a bitter pill coming on the heels (and expenses) of moving.

I hope everyone is doing well.

Congresswoman McKinney - The Shame of Georgia

I was just reading a news article online about Congresswoman McKinney who apparently hit a cop who tried to restrain her after she did not stop as requested THREE TIMES while going through a security checkpoint. She claims to be a victim of racism, unfortunately I think she is a victim of stupidity.

Lesson one, If a cop says stop, you stop. Period. If you don't stop, a cop can force you to stop. You may not hit a cop. Ever. Period. Every kindergartener knows this, why doesn't Congresswoman McKinney?

As a current resident of Georgia, I am ashamed to have this woman represent me. Beside the fact that she ignored an officer of the law when he issued a command, she is playing the race card. Our elected officials our subject to the same laws as the rest of us and they cannot ignore a police officer (or hit one) anymore than I can. She wasn't stopped because she is black, she was stopped because she walked through a security checkpoint without wearing the lapel pin that identifies members of Congress and allows them to be waved through.

Lesson two, if a lapel pin grants you a free pass and you forget to wear your lapel pin, you have to stop like everyone else.

I am sorry that Congresswoman McKinney's ego is bruised because this police officer failed to recognize her, but there are 435 members of the House and 100 in the Senate. 535 faces are a lot for any one person to remember at all times.

She owes the police officer an apology and should be charged with assaulting said police officer. She also owes the citizens of Georgia and the United States for failing to live up to the office that she was elected to serve. She also owes an apology for playing the race card, she should be ashamed of herself. I know I am.

????????????

I don't have a lot to talk about right now. However, I do have a lot that I am thinking about. The murder of Matthew Winkler by his wife Mary. I have posted a few times about this issue on another person's blog. I haven't really posted on my own, but I am going to copy my posts from the other blog, because I think they reflect my thoughts very well and anything else I type would just be re-wording what I have already written.

Response 1:
I am not sure why everyone is so surprised about this. Yes, it is shocking when a wife kills her husband, but I think everyone is making a big deal out of this because he is a preacher. When everything boils down, it is still just a woman who killed her husband.

I read online a little while ago that the police know what her motive was, but they aren't giving details. I am very curious about the motive, because she had to have killed him for a reason. While, I don't agree with murder in anyway, I can understand a few motives.

I think we hold preachers (and by association, their wives) to a higher standard than we hold "regular" people. I don't think this is necessarily fair because preachers are just human, like the rest of us. They sin, and they fall short of the glory of God, just like the rest of us. They, like us, are covered by the same blood of Christ.

I will say prayers for his family, her family, and their precious little girls. These poor girls have to live forever with the idea that their mommy killed their daddy and that is a terrible burden, no matter WHY she did it.


Response 2:
To be honest, my comments about being shocked weren't really about you and those familiar with the individuals involved. I should have clarified that in my response.

The media is presenting this in such a way that there is MORE shock involved because this is a preacher and his wife. I don't know if it is for hype and ratings, or what the reason is, but to most people this shouldn't be really different than if the banker's wife killed her husband or the trash man's wife killed her husband.

Yes, to people who know the couple this would be harder to accept. Believe me, when I turned on the news and saw the story involving my aunt and cousin, it was disheartening. Of course, anything with child abuse/endangerment is always bad, just as murder is, it does make you feel different when you know the individuals involved.


Response 3:
Not being raised in the Church of Christ, I can't answer from first-hand knowledge, however, my experiences say that I can understand why some folks would feel that murder was the only way out.

I was raised Catholic (which also has strict rules about divorce,) but I had an aunt leave the Catholic Church and marry a man who was/is a member of the Church of Christ. Their daughters were both raised Church of Christ as well. Their youngest daughter (my cousin,) who is about 40 or 41 married a good Church of Christ boy. He proceeded to be abusive, though not physically. He was more of the verbal/mental abuse sort. He counted cookies, weighed her daily, berated her for going out for lunch with another of our cousins and accused her of looking for other men (so NOT true.)

Well, I talked to my mom on the phone the other night while driving to work and she said she had shocking news, my cousin told her parents she was divorced and had been so for an ENTIRE YEAR. She and her ex had done things together for appearances, etc.

I can't imagine being so fearful of telling your family that you are divorcing/divorced, but that is where she has been on this. She also told them she has been in college and is one year away from finishing the degree she was working on when she got married and "had to quit" college almost twenty years ago.

So, yes, I can see how some would believe that murder would be considered more acceptable, even though the idea is SHOCKING to me.

M. Night Shyamalan

M. Night Shyamalan is an awesome movie director. He makes movies that I like to watch. Movies that feature a human aspect, but have some suspense, and always have a twist to them. Now the twist is something that I have come to expect from him, so for me, the challenge is figuring out what that twist is for any given movie. In his most recent movie, "The Village," Thomas and I both figured out what the twist was, but that didn't diminish our enjoyment of it at all. We are actually watching the movie right now, which is what brought on this blog.

I first saw "The Sixth Sense" at the movies all by myself. Drew wanted to see "Pokemon 2000" or something along those lines and I had NO desire to put myself through that, so I went to a separate move. Had I really had a clue about "The Sixth Sense" I wouldn't have watched it alone, however the movie was truly awesome and I had NO IDEA how the movie was going to end. I have since watched the movie many times, and have watched it a few times with people who hadn't seen it before, and it is amazing to watch their faces as all the pieces fall into place.

Thomas and I saw "Unbreakable" together, and again, our response was one of surprise, but we enjoyed the movie immensely. We also saw "Signs" together, and though many folks we know have scoffed at the movie, we both liked it also. Actually, "Signs" scared the crap out of Thomas who wanted to sleep with all the doors shut in our basement in our house in St. Louis (our basement was fully finished and our bedroom was in the basement.) As I said, we watched "The Village" together and did figure it out, but it was great as well.

"The Lady in the Water" is to come out this summer from what I understand. Drew, Possum, and I saw the preview when we went to see Harry Potter this past Thanksgiving. I remember watching the preview, thinking that the movie didn't seem interesting at all, and what was it about anyway. Well, all of a sudden, after a really slow preview, the name "M. Night Shyamalan" came up on the screen, and my entire attitude changed. All of a sudden, I was VERY interested and I couldn't wait for the movie to come out. I still can't.

M. Night Shyamalan is a fantastic writer and director in my mind. He reminds me some of Poe or Hitchcock, but not quite as dark as either.

Computer Troubles...and Some Odds and Ends

We used to be a one computer family, we were for a long time and it worked well for us. When we moved to California, we put our desktop in storage and bought a laptop. We used the laptop exclusively until we moved into this house last January. At that time we had the desktop in the basement and the laptop upstairs. The desktop became Thomas' computer and the laptop was mine, though we did share so Thomas didn't have to go downstairs to check his email or to boot around online.

Last July, friends of ours gave us an old IBM laptop so Thomas and I could both have a computer upstairs and the desktop would be used only for Thomas' recording projects. Well, shortly before I went back to work, I had an accident with the newer laptop by spilling something into the keyboard. This caused the laptop to not work at all. So, we were back to one laptop and one desktop, but we were fine with that because Thomas and I had moved the desktop upstairs so he could do his recording up here.

All was fine until today. My laptop, the older one that our friends gave us, shut down and nothing I could do would make it work. I tried to reformat the hard drive and that didn't even work. I tried to put a new hard drive in the computer and that didn't work. Nothing worked. The laptop would power up, but nothing would load. So, as of now, we are back to one computer. For a very short time, believe me!!!

My dream computer is a Mac. I had thought about getting an iBook or a PowerBook, but we haven't really had the best luck with laptops, so I am looking at an iMac. I was impressed tonight while looking at the iMac's, I can get a lot of computer for my money, a lot more than if I would buy a laptop, so it looks like we will have two desktops very soon. I plan to make my purchase when we get our tax return back. Thomas is going to get some equipment he needs for his music recording and I am going to get my computer. We are also going to go on a date, we haven't been on a date in quite a while because of Sofia, but it is time.

For other info, I am going shopping with a friend tomorrow. I am bringing Sofia and she is bringing her baby boy who is six weeks older than Sofia. My two toddlers are staying with Thomas, her two toddlers are staying at home with their dad. Going shopping with babies only is so easy, I am looking forward to it.

Tomorrow evening after I go shopping, we are going to look at a house. Not to buy, but our landlord also rents a home that has five bedrooms, compared to our three. That house just became vacant, and the rent is the same, so we are going to go look and see about moving over there. I am very excited. Drew will still have his own room, Possum will have his own room, and the girls will be together. That will give us a guest room, which we are excited about, we had one in St. Louis and that was WONDERFUL! So I hope everything works out for this.

And last of all, I have my annual evaluation at work on Wednesday evening. I am excited and nervous at the same time.

Have a good night everyone, I am tired and Harry Potter (as read by Jim Dale) is calling for me!

Dream Car?

Everyone has a dream car or cars. So, saying money is no object (you win the $300 million jackpot,) what car or cars would you go out and buy?

I have a few cars that I want, quite a few actually. My current "I want it" car is a convertible VW Beetle, but I want the cream color with the tan top. However, if money was no option, I have other cars I would want. I would like a red, convertible Porsche 911 (without a spoiler.) I would also want a great big Mercedes-Benz (I haven't quite decided which model, but it would be one of the big sedans.)

Thomas has always said he wants the Volvo V70, a station wagon.

But, if I could go out tomorrow and buy something brand new, it would be something small with awesome gas mileage. The Suburban is great for when we all go out, but it is overkill if I am driving it by myself. I would want a Toyota Prius or a Honda Civic Hybrid...I like the idea of 60mpg.

What about anyone else?

Pro-Life

My last post got me thinking about the terminology used in the abortion debate. Pro-life, pro-choice, pro-abortion, anti-abortion, anti-choice, pro-death, etc. I have heard the pro-death handle used by radical abortion activists.

So, I started thinking about the term pro-life and what it really means. Pro-life really means that the individual is FOR LIFE. Being raised Catholic, I have been raised in a pro-life environment. The Church believes in the sanctity of human life, all human life. The Church is against abortion, against the death penalty, against war, against human rights violations, etc.

Can you be pro-life, meaning anti-abortion, and pro-death penalty at the same time? Of course, you can be anti-abortion and pro-death penalty at the same time. However, I am not sure you can still call yourself pro-life. I think it is a big contradiction, but then we humans are very contradictory by nature.

I am not exactly sure where I stand on the death penalty issue, but I know I am mostly opposed to it. Most of my opposition though stems from the fact that it is not used equitably. I definitely lose no sleep over the fact that Ted Bundy was put to death, however I think it is a punishment that should be used in extreme cases only. I think that the risk of being wrong should limit the use to only the most heinous of crimes.

I know my own beliefs are all over the radar, but I also think the term pro-life should be used only by those that really are pro-life. I think I will have to refer to myself as anti-abortion, because the one thing I despise above all other things is hypocrisy, especially self-hypocrisy.

Abortion

I need to start this post by stating that I am blatantly stealing the idea from a blog I frequent regularly. The author of that blog and I agree that abortion is wrong. The author was stating in her comments that for someone to be against something, they must be for something as well. If we are against abortion, what are we for? I got the impression from her blog that she didn't think that stopping abortions was enough, and I have to say I agree with her (if that was indeed what she was saying.) We can't tell people that they HAVE to have a baby and then not give them options. Adoption is always an option if both of the baby's parents are Caucasian and healthy and the baby's mother has not used drugs or alcohol during her pregnancy. Of course, even the healthiest parents sometimes have a baby who has health problems, in that case the baby is less "adoptable."

I have copied my reply on her blog and I want to post that reply here, because I think it gives a good overview of my feelings:

I am against abortion. I am against abortion in cases of rape, though incest I am on the fence about. I am against abortion in the "life of the mother" loophole, because I really think that it is a loophole and not a valid reason for an abortion.

I believe birth control is a choice, but a choice that comes before conception and not afterwards. I am a BIG believer in personal responsibility.

I also believe that voting for a candidate SOLELY because they are anti-abortion is as wrong as abortion. Just because someone is anti-abortion does not mean they are a good person or a good leader. There are many issues and many ideologies and all must be weighed against each other.

I ALSO believe that to be anti-abortion, but to not realize that SOMETHING needs to be done for these unwanted babies is ALSO as wrong as abortion. To not help in some way is not right. To tell a woman she HAS to have a baby she does not want, but not help her in some way with what she needs to do is also wrong. If she is young, white, and healthy and the baby's father is young, white, and healthy there is not much to worry about, the baby will find a home. But if the baby is not white, the mom used drugs, the baby is not perfectly healthy, etc than most of these babies won't have a home.

Every state in the country needs foster parents for babies AND children. Some healthy who just aren't "privileged" to be white, some with special needs or chronic illnesses. Please help the situation not just spout ideologies.

So, there you have it, this is my belief. Abortion is not birth control, it is murder. Be responsible and prevent unwanted pregnancies before they occur!