Nursing Humor

Nurses are an interesting breed and we have a very weird sense of humor, some might even say demented. I did a search online for some of my favorite nursing jokes and thought I would share them here. My comments will be added in a different color if I feel the urge to expound.

Top Ten Reasons To Become A Nurse:

1. Pays better than fast food, though the hours aren't as good.
2. Fashionable shoes and sexy, white uniforms. (Thank God for scrubs.)
3. Needles: Its better to give than receive.
4. Reassure your patients that all bleeding stops....eventually.
5. Expose yourself to rare, exciting, and exotic new diseases.
6. Interesting aromas.
7. Courteous and infallible doctors who always leave clear orders in perfectly legible handwriting.
8. Do enough charting to navigate around the world. (Twice.)
9. Celebrate the holidays with all your friends...at work.
10. Take comfort that most of your patients survive no matter what you do to them.


You know you are a nurse when:
~ Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal. (You mean its not?)
~ You compliment a complete stranger on his veins.
~ You find yourself betting on someone's alcohol level.
~ You know that KY Jelly is optional.
~ You believe every patient needs TLC: Thorazine, Lorazepam, and Compazine.
~ You would like to meet the inventor of the call light in a dark alley one night. (Amen.)
~ You believe not all patients are annoying...some are unconscious.
~ Your sense of humor gets more "warped" each year.
~ You can only tell time with a 24 hour clock.
~ Almost everything can seem humorous...eventually.
~ You've been telling stories in a restaurant and had someone at another table throw up.
~ You notice that you use more four letter words now than before you became a nurse.
~ You don't get excited about blood loss...unless its your own.
~ Eating microwave popcorn out of a clean bedpan seems perfectly natural.
~ You've sworn that you are going to have "NO CODE" tattooed to your chest. (Double amen.)

I hope everyone got at least a small smile from these.