The thought of causing, or inflicting pain, always brings to mind the idea of physical pain. However, physical pain is sometimes much easier to deal with than emotional pain or anguish. So this blog today is about causing emotional pain.
We are all human, and we have all hurt each other from time to time. None of us are perfect, and we can even hurt another person unintentionally. Thinking back over my life I can recall instances where I have hurt those that I loved or cared about. Sometimes it is unavoidable. I am thinking of a young person breaking up with their high school boyfriend or girlfriend. However, I think having our hearts broken is a necessary step in growing up. It is never easy to have your heart broken, but we do move on and do we even remember the names of everyone we ever dated and dumped or were dumped by?
I am having a difficult time putting my thoughts down on this subject because, though I know what I am thinking, I am having a hard time putting it into words. So bear with me if I ramble or don't make sense from time to time.
I am thinking of situations where people do things for no other reason than to cause pain, or they do it in spite of the pain they will cause, because it will make things easier or better for them, neverminding what it will do to someone else. These types of situations are what I have been thinking about (though I know I am not doing a very good job of putting my thoughts down.)
These types of situations are ones that I think a person must not only ask for God's forgiveness, but for the forgiveness of those they have wronged. Some injuries have more than one victim, those that are the obvious victim and those that are hurt, even if they don't seem to be at the time.
I am hoping that typing this will be cathartic, because I carrying around ill will towards people who have hurt me and those I love. I ask God to help me with the ill feelings I have, but as with most things, I try to "help" God fix me, which never works, and I know this. However, as a human, I have a hard time letting anyone "fix" me or things around me, even if we are talking about the perfect, all knowing, all loving God.
So, I ask God to help me forgive, even if I am unable to forget.
1 comment:
For me, and here pardon the french, is to realize that "My shit stinks too". The key for me in forgiving and seeking to forgive is to realize that I have been guilty of doing some pretty lousy crap in my day too. . .If I hold a grudge, how can I expect another person not too?
Of course, I do note that there are some people who have lost the right/privaledge to have a relationship with me. . .they no longer have admission into my life, and in order to regain admission, they must demonstrate a desire to change and make amends for what they have done/failed to do.
My mother's dying wish was that I be reconciled with my sister. I told herthat the door was always open, but there are certain things that she was not welcome to bring into the house with her, such as denial, manipulation, passive aggressiveness (and sis, if you are reading this, Know that I have told you all of this before). I am able to forgive, but without indication that changes in behavior permanent, i will not forget, as I will NOT be used or abused.
I hope that those that I have wronged in the past hold me to that same standard. . .please keep the door open. . .let me show you how different things are and that the mistakes of the past will not be repeated.
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