Peace

Thomas and I had a talk this morning about peace. World peace, and personal peace. I realize that the only type of peace I have any real control over is my own. I realize that I am very lucky, I have a wonderful husband, family, friends, and career. Of course, everything is not perfect, I don't think it ever can be as we are not perfect.

When thinking what I would like to have a more "perfect" life, I came up with the fact that I want and need more girlfriends. I can work on that, and I am working on that, so this is not too big a deal.

To bring more peace to my life, I would need to heal a broken relationship. I have gotten to the point where I would allow the relationship to heal if the other individual would just pick up the phone. This is a situation where I feel I was really wronged, but I have accepted the fact that I won't ever receive an apology, that the other person just isn't capable of doing that. I think to make things more peaceful, you have to accept people where they are, limitations and all. I do realize that I am not yet at a point where I can pick up the phone and make that phone call, maybe because I am the one who last made a call, back in April of 2004. That phone call was never returned and I guess I am still waiting. There has been communication of sorts, via email. First it was friendly, then it turned nasty. The nastiness was not on my part, which is why I am still not quite ready to make the first move.

I have done a lot to move forward though. I have moved to the point where I would not require an apology, which is huge. This is significant movement on my part and it has brought me some measure of peace.

I don't understand why people won't own their mistakes, and do what they can to fix them. God always wants us to right any wrong we have committed, and I try hard to do this. Not everyone does though, even those who claim God in every aspect of their lives, that is hugely hypocritical to me.

Of course, the person I am in "conflict" with doesn't claim God at all, as far as I know. That may be some of the problem.

Oh well, I am rambling now. I will end here, if anyone has anything helpful to add, please do so.

Job Update....Again

Okay, so I did get very tired of waiting for a call about my job application, so I submitted more applications. I submitted an application to the PICU and to the ER, both at the same hospital where I currently work. I realized, that while I really want the Assistant Nurse Manager position, I really needed a change even if I didn't get the job that was my first choice.

So, now I have applied for three jobs, and these three jobs require a total of five interviews. One interview apiece for the ER and PICU. Three interviews for the Assistant Manager position; one with the management team, one with the director, and one with the staff. So far, I have completed all three interviews for the Assistant Manager position, the final one was yesterday. I interviewed for the PICU last week and I interview for the ER next Tuesday.

I have been offered the position in the PICU, but thankfully, I don't have to make a decision quite yet. I spoke with the recruiter who assured me that I can finish my interview process and wait for decisions/offers before I accept or decline any position.

Next Tuesday after my interview I have a staff meeting with my current department. We are meeting our new director at this meeting. Our manager is staying the same, but there is a new director. I am also curious if the changes within my department might not allow me to stay where I am but take on the new responsibilities I am desiring. I was promoted this spring, but the only thing I have seen with the promotion thus far is the salary increase. The money is nice, but I did the required work for the promotion because I wanted to have the increased/different responsibilities this would allow. However, this has never happened. I am doing the same thing I was doing before my promotion, I am just being paid more. As I said, the money is nice, but not the only thing.

I guess I am saying, that I need personal and professional satisfaction out of my career, not just a paycheck. I require constant challenges and new learning experiences. Stagnation is the death of a job for me, but I like where I work, so I am looking internally for the new challenges instead of looking externally. This is very different from where I have been in the past, I always looked externally. I would hope this shows growth on my part.

Well, enough for today. I will update as news comes available.

Job Update

Well, things are moving at a snail's pace wtih the new job that I want. The day after I applied the recruiter emailed me asking for me to update a few things on my application, as it was the same application I had put in when I was first hired. Applying is done online and the application is saved for possible use in the future.

So, I updated as asked, and then heard nothing at all. I called HR and left a message and still heard nothing. So, I applied for a couple of other positions that interest me. And then I heard back, finally. Turns out the recruiter was on vacation, so everything came to a stand still until she got back. As things stand now, my application was forwarded to the hiring manager on Monday and I should hear from her within a week or so. (Of course I am going on vacation in two weeks, but nevermind that.)

Now I am waiting again. I hate waiting. I am not very patient about things like this. Nothing gets my anxiety level up like sitting around and just waiting.

On the plus side, I have been accepted to the University of Phoenix Online to complete my BSN. That is good news, now I just have to figure out how to pay for it. I have applied for a bunch of scholarships, and I can apply for tuition reimbursement from work in October, so I may have to wait for one or the other to come through since the program is pricey. At least I have gotten accepted, which is a major step.

I will update as I have any information! Please keep saying prayers for me.