Charity

The Spirit is also the energy which transforms the heart of the ecclesial community, so that it becomes a witness before the world to the love of the Father, who wishes to make humanity a single family in his Son. The entire activity of the Church is an expression of a love that seeks the integral good of man: it seeks his evangelization through Word and Sacrament, an undertaking that is often heroic in the way it is acted out in history; and it seeks to promote man in the various arenas of life and human activity. Love is therefore the service that the Church carries out in order to attend constantly to man's sufferings and his needs, including material needs. And this is the aspect, this service of charity, on which I want to focus in the second part of the Encyclical.

Love of neighbor, grounded in the love of God, is first and foremost a responsibility for each individual member of the faithful, but it is also a responsibility for the entire ecclesial community at every level: from the local community to the particular Church and to the Church universal in its entirety. As a community, the Church must practice love. Love thus needs to be organized if it is to be an ordered service to the community. The awareness of this responsibility has had a constitutive relevance in the Church from the beginning: “All who believed were together and had all things in common; and they sold their possessions and goods and distributed them to all, as any had need” (Acts 2:44-5).

As the years went by and the Church spread further afield, the exercise of charity became established as one of her essential activities, along with the administration of the sacraments and the proclamation of the word: love for widows and orphans, prisoners, and the sick and needy of every kind, is as essential to her as the ministry of the sacraments and preaching of the Gospel. The Church cannot neglect the service of charity any more than she can neglect the Sacraments and the Word.

The Church's deepest nature is expressed in her three-fold responsibility: of proclaiming the word of God, celebrating the sacraments, and exercising the ministry of charity. These duties presuppose each other and are inseparable. For the Church, charity is not a kind of welfare activity which could equally well be left to others, but is a part of her nature, an indispensable expression of her very being.

The Church is God's family in the world. In this family no one ought to go without the necessities of life.

Today the means of mass communication have made our planet smaller, rapidly narrowing the distance between different peoples and cultures. This “togetherness” at times gives rise to misunderstandings and tensions, yet our ability to know almost instantly about the needs of others challenges us to share their situation and their difficulties. Despite the great advances made in science and technology, each day we see how much suffering there is in the world on account of different kinds of poverty, both material and spiritual. Our times call for a new readiness to assist our neighbors in need.

The increase in diversified organizations engaged in meeting various human needs is ultimately due to the fact that the command of love of neighbor is inscribed by the Creator in man's very nature.

Following the example given in the parable of the Good Samaritan, Christian charity is first of all the simple response to immediate needs and specific situations: feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, caring for and healing the sick, visiting those in prison, etc. The Church's charitable organizations, beginning with those of Caritas (at diocesan, national and international levels), ought to do everything in their power to provide the resources and above all the personnel needed for this work. Individuals who care for those in need must first be professionally competent: they should be properly trained in what to do and how to do it, and committed to continuing care. Yet, while professional competence is a primary, fundamental requirement, it is not of itself sufficient. We are dealing with human beings, and human beings always need something more than technically proper care. They need humanity. They need heartfelt concern. Those who work for the Church's charitable organizations must be distinguished by the fact that they do not merely meet the needs of the moment, but they dedicate themselves to others with heartfelt concern, enabling them to experience the richness of their humanity. Consequently, in addition to their necessary professional training, these charity workers need a “formation of the heart”: they need to be led to that encounter with God in Christ which awakens their love and opens their spirits to others. As a result, love of neighbour will no longer be for them a commandment imposed, so to speak, from without, but a consequence deriving from their faith, a faith which becomes active through love (cf. Gal 5:6)

Charity, furthermore, cannot be used as a means of engaging in what is nowadays considered proselytism. Love is free; it is not practiced as a way of achieving other ends. But this does not mean that charitable activity must somehow leave God and Christ aside. For it is always concerned with the whole man. Often the deepest cause of suffering is the very absence of God. Those who practice charity in the Church's name will never seek to impose the Church's faith upon others. They realize that a pure and generous love is the best witness to the God in whom we believe and by whom we are driven to love. A Christian knows when it is time to speak of God and when it is better to say nothing and to let love alone speak. He knows that God is love (cf. 1 Jn 4:8) and that God's presence is felt at the very time when the only thing we do is to love. He knows—to return to the questions raised earlier—that disdain for love is disdain for God and man alike; it is an attempt to do without God. Consequently, the best defense of God and man consists precisely in love. It is the responsibility of the Church's charitable organizations to reinforce this awareness in their members, so that by their activity—as well as their words, their silence, their example—they may be credible witnesses to Christ.

Service

This proper way of serving others also leads to humility. The one who serves does not consider himself superior to the one served, however miserable his situation at the moment may be. Christ took the lowest place in the world—the Cross—and by this radical humility he redeemed us and constantly comes to our aid. Those who are in a position to help others will realize that in doing so they themselves receive help; being able to help others is no merit or achievement of their own. This duty is a grace. The more we do for others, the more we understand and can appropriate the words of Christ: “We are useless servants” (Lk 17:10). We recognize that we are not acting on the basis of any superiority or greater personal efficiency, but because the Lord has graciously enabled us to do so. There are times when the burden of need and our own limitations might tempt us to become discouraged. But precisely then we are helped by the knowledge that, in the end, we are only instruments in the Lord's hands; and this knowledge frees us from the presumption of thinking that we alone are personally responsible for building a better world. In all humility we will do what we can, and in all humility we will entrust the rest to the Lord. It is God who governs the world, not we. We offer him our service only to the extent that we can, and for as long as he grants us the strength. To do all we can with what strength we have, however, is the task which keeps the good servant of Jesus Christ always at work: “The love of Christ urges us on” (2 Cor 5:14).

.It is time to reaffirm the importance of prayer in the face of the activism and the growing secularism of many Christians engaged in charitable work. Clearly, the Christian who prays does not claim to be able to change God's plans or correct what he has foreseen. Rather, he seeks an encounter with the Father of Jesus Christ, asking God to be present with the consolation of the Spirit to him and his work. A personal relationship with God and an abandonment to his will can prevent man from being demeaned and save him from falling prey to the teaching of fanaticism and terrorism. An authentically religious attitude prevents man from presuming to judge God, accusing him of allowing poverty and failing to have compassion for his creatures. When people claim to build a case against God in defense of man, on whom can they depend when human activity proves powerless?

Certainly Job could complain before God about the presence of incomprehensible and apparently unjustified suffering in the world. In his pain he cried out: “Oh, that I knew where I might find him, that I might come even to his seat! ... I would learn what he would answer me, and understand what he would say to me. Would he contend with me in the greatness of his power? ... Therefore I am terrified at his presence; when I consider, I am in dread of him. God has made my heart faint; the Almighty has terrified me” (23:3, 5-6, 15-16). Often we cannot understand why God refrains from intervening. Yet he does not prevent us from crying out, like Jesus on the Cross: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Mt 27:46). We should continue asking this question in prayerful dialogue before his face: “Lord, holy and true, how long will it be?” (Rev 6:10). It is Saint Augustine who gives us faith's answer to our sufferings: “Si comprehendis, non est Deus”—”if you understand him, he is not God.” Our protest is not meant to challenge God, or to suggest that error, weakness or indifference can be found in him. For the believer, it is impossible to imagine that God is powerless or that “perhaps he is asleep” (cf. 1 Kg 18:27). Instead, our crying out is, as it was for Jesus on the Cross, the deepest and most radical way of affirming our faith in his sovereign power. Even in their bewilderment and failure to understand the world around them, Christians continue to believe in the “goodness and loving kindness of God” (Tit 3:4). Immersed like everyone else in the dramatic complexity of historical events, they remain unshakably certain that God is our Father and loves us, even when his silence remains incomprehensible.

Love is the light—and in the end, the only light—that can always illuminate a world grown dim and give us the courage needed to keep living and working. Love is possible, and we are able to practice it because we are created in the image of God.

Easter and Religion

Where do people get off telling people how they should celebrate Easter? Where do they get off telling people the way their church celebrates Easter is wrong? Who the heck do they think they are? God? I don't think so.

I was born and raised Catholic, Easter and the entire Holy Week is the most important time of the year. I felt the yearnings to go to Mass on Holy Thursday, Good Friday, and to the Easter Vigil Mass on Saturday night. Of course, I never really went to church on Easter Sunday, except on a few occasions, the main reason is the Easter and Christmas Catholics showed up and there was no place to sit.

The Easter Vigil is one of my favorite Masses of the year. The individuals who wish to become Catholic finish their journey this night. They get baptized (only if they have never been baptized as a Christian before) and they get to take Communion for the first time. It is such an overwhelming, beautiful experience.

However, I am a nurse, and I work weekends. I work every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night. This does not change because it is Holy Week. So, I went to work and took care of some beautiful children who could not be home for the holiday. I even got to check on the beautiful child mentioned in my post below. He is doing well enough physically, if not emotionally. The County is looking for a foster home for him, but with his medical issues, they are having a hard time. People don't mind emotional problems it seems, but physical problems seem to be daunting. I would bring him home if I could, he is so beautiful and so fragile.

Now, I have to say, that everyone celebrates Easter in their own way. Some people don't celebrate it at all. We are guaranteed freedom of religion in this country, we get to believe what we want to believe and we get to worship in the way we choose. We get to choose NOT to worship at all if that is what we want. However, some people feel their beliefs are superior to everyone else's beliefs, and if others don't worship in the same way they do, then it is wrong.

No one gets it all right, and none of us are perfect so we don't get to tell others that their beliefs are wrong. All we can do is live our beliefs and allow our lives to be an outward reflection of those beliefs. To nitpick shows that the person is petty and selfish, not a very good outward reflection of Christ. Christians are commanded to love one another and love God, this is how we should base all of our interactions.

Happy Easter everyone.

Child Abuse

Early this morning, towards the end of my shift, I admitted a child with an injury that was reported by his mom as an accident. I am not going to go into details, but no matter how hard I rack my brain, I can't figure out how it could be accidental. I know the story of how mom says it happened, however I can't think of any possible way for this to have happened the way it is reported.

I looked at this beautiful little boy about the same age as one of my children and my heart just broke. Of course, Social Services is involved and the child has been removed from mom's custody until an investigation is complete. Unfortunately this means that this child will be in the hospital all alone, and a young child can't understand why no one is with him, because even if his mom is the one who hurt him, she is still who he is going to want with him as he is very young.

I just don't understand.

I Love My New Computer

This thing is unbelievable. I wanted a Mac, and I still do, but we couldn't really afford it at this time, so I can wait till next time. I bought a Gateway. This thing has a huge hard drive and is unbelievably fast. I have to admit that one of my favorite parts is the keyboard. After two years of using laptops as my main home computer, I love the full sized keyboard and I adore the number pad. I know, I know, this is silly, but I can't help it. Also the keyboard types very nicely as well, I love the way the keys type! I am very, very happy and I haven't even mentioned the 19 inch monitor!!!

Okay, now onto what I am not liking right now. I HATE moving. I hate it, I know I shouldn't hate anything, but I hate moving. Thankfully, we only moved about four minutes from our old house, so we are able to move slower than when we moved across country, which meant EVERYTHING had to be packed and moved at the same time. Here we moved all the big furniture in one day, as well as the kitchen stuff. We have been able to move other things over the last couple days. We aren't quite done yet, but we will be soon.

We would be further along if the stupid Suburban hadn't started acting crazy on Monday evening. We took it to get checked out. Can you say $653.12??? All eight spark plugs, ignitions wires, air filter, pcv valve, distributor rotor, distributor cap, front left caliper, and fuel system tune up!!! Most of the problems were caused because the person we bought it from did his own repairs, and thought he knew what he was doing. Unfortunately, he thought wrong. The caliper broke because a bolt was left off. All the other stuff had to do with incorrectly replacing the spark plugs and wires, we were told if we hadn't come in as quickly as we did the catalytic converter would have burned out and we would have spent $2000 -$4000 to fix that and all the other problems. I guess $653.12 is easier to swallow in this light, but it still a bitter pill coming on the heels (and expenses) of moving.

I hope everyone is doing well.

Congresswoman McKinney - The Shame of Georgia

I was just reading a news article online about Congresswoman McKinney who apparently hit a cop who tried to restrain her after she did not stop as requested THREE TIMES while going through a security checkpoint. She claims to be a victim of racism, unfortunately I think she is a victim of stupidity.

Lesson one, If a cop says stop, you stop. Period. If you don't stop, a cop can force you to stop. You may not hit a cop. Ever. Period. Every kindergartener knows this, why doesn't Congresswoman McKinney?

As a current resident of Georgia, I am ashamed to have this woman represent me. Beside the fact that she ignored an officer of the law when he issued a command, she is playing the race card. Our elected officials our subject to the same laws as the rest of us and they cannot ignore a police officer (or hit one) anymore than I can. She wasn't stopped because she is black, she was stopped because she walked through a security checkpoint without wearing the lapel pin that identifies members of Congress and allows them to be waved through.

Lesson two, if a lapel pin grants you a free pass and you forget to wear your lapel pin, you have to stop like everyone else.

I am sorry that Congresswoman McKinney's ego is bruised because this police officer failed to recognize her, but there are 435 members of the House and 100 in the Senate. 535 faces are a lot for any one person to remember at all times.

She owes the police officer an apology and should be charged with assaulting said police officer. She also owes the citizens of Georgia and the United States for failing to live up to the office that she was elected to serve. She also owes an apology for playing the race card, she should be ashamed of herself. I know I am.

????????????

I don't have a lot to talk about right now. However, I do have a lot that I am thinking about. The murder of Matthew Winkler by his wife Mary. I have posted a few times about this issue on another person's blog. I haven't really posted on my own, but I am going to copy my posts from the other blog, because I think they reflect my thoughts very well and anything else I type would just be re-wording what I have already written.

Response 1:
I am not sure why everyone is so surprised about this. Yes, it is shocking when a wife kills her husband, but I think everyone is making a big deal out of this because he is a preacher. When everything boils down, it is still just a woman who killed her husband.

I read online a little while ago that the police know what her motive was, but they aren't giving details. I am very curious about the motive, because she had to have killed him for a reason. While, I don't agree with murder in anyway, I can understand a few motives.

I think we hold preachers (and by association, their wives) to a higher standard than we hold "regular" people. I don't think this is necessarily fair because preachers are just human, like the rest of us. They sin, and they fall short of the glory of God, just like the rest of us. They, like us, are covered by the same blood of Christ.

I will say prayers for his family, her family, and their precious little girls. These poor girls have to live forever with the idea that their mommy killed their daddy and that is a terrible burden, no matter WHY she did it.


Response 2:
To be honest, my comments about being shocked weren't really about you and those familiar with the individuals involved. I should have clarified that in my response.

The media is presenting this in such a way that there is MORE shock involved because this is a preacher and his wife. I don't know if it is for hype and ratings, or what the reason is, but to most people this shouldn't be really different than if the banker's wife killed her husband or the trash man's wife killed her husband.

Yes, to people who know the couple this would be harder to accept. Believe me, when I turned on the news and saw the story involving my aunt and cousin, it was disheartening. Of course, anything with child abuse/endangerment is always bad, just as murder is, it does make you feel different when you know the individuals involved.


Response 3:
Not being raised in the Church of Christ, I can't answer from first-hand knowledge, however, my experiences say that I can understand why some folks would feel that murder was the only way out.

I was raised Catholic (which also has strict rules about divorce,) but I had an aunt leave the Catholic Church and marry a man who was/is a member of the Church of Christ. Their daughters were both raised Church of Christ as well. Their youngest daughter (my cousin,) who is about 40 or 41 married a good Church of Christ boy. He proceeded to be abusive, though not physically. He was more of the verbal/mental abuse sort. He counted cookies, weighed her daily, berated her for going out for lunch with another of our cousins and accused her of looking for other men (so NOT true.)

Well, I talked to my mom on the phone the other night while driving to work and she said she had shocking news, my cousin told her parents she was divorced and had been so for an ENTIRE YEAR. She and her ex had done things together for appearances, etc.

I can't imagine being so fearful of telling your family that you are divorcing/divorced, but that is where she has been on this. She also told them she has been in college and is one year away from finishing the degree she was working on when she got married and "had to quit" college almost twenty years ago.

So, yes, I can see how some would believe that murder would be considered more acceptable, even though the idea is SHOCKING to me.

M. Night Shyamalan

M. Night Shyamalan is an awesome movie director. He makes movies that I like to watch. Movies that feature a human aspect, but have some suspense, and always have a twist to them. Now the twist is something that I have come to expect from him, so for me, the challenge is figuring out what that twist is for any given movie. In his most recent movie, "The Village," Thomas and I both figured out what the twist was, but that didn't diminish our enjoyment of it at all. We are actually watching the movie right now, which is what brought on this blog.

I first saw "The Sixth Sense" at the movies all by myself. Drew wanted to see "Pokemon 2000" or something along those lines and I had NO desire to put myself through that, so I went to a separate move. Had I really had a clue about "The Sixth Sense" I wouldn't have watched it alone, however the movie was truly awesome and I had NO IDEA how the movie was going to end. I have since watched the movie many times, and have watched it a few times with people who hadn't seen it before, and it is amazing to watch their faces as all the pieces fall into place.

Thomas and I saw "Unbreakable" together, and again, our response was one of surprise, but we enjoyed the movie immensely. We also saw "Signs" together, and though many folks we know have scoffed at the movie, we both liked it also. Actually, "Signs" scared the crap out of Thomas who wanted to sleep with all the doors shut in our basement in our house in St. Louis (our basement was fully finished and our bedroom was in the basement.) As I said, we watched "The Village" together and did figure it out, but it was great as well.

"The Lady in the Water" is to come out this summer from what I understand. Drew, Possum, and I saw the preview when we went to see Harry Potter this past Thanksgiving. I remember watching the preview, thinking that the movie didn't seem interesting at all, and what was it about anyway. Well, all of a sudden, after a really slow preview, the name "M. Night Shyamalan" came up on the screen, and my entire attitude changed. All of a sudden, I was VERY interested and I couldn't wait for the movie to come out. I still can't.

M. Night Shyamalan is a fantastic writer and director in my mind. He reminds me some of Poe or Hitchcock, but not quite as dark as either.

Computer Troubles...and Some Odds and Ends

We used to be a one computer family, we were for a long time and it worked well for us. When we moved to California, we put our desktop in storage and bought a laptop. We used the laptop exclusively until we moved into this house last January. At that time we had the desktop in the basement and the laptop upstairs. The desktop became Thomas' computer and the laptop was mine, though we did share so Thomas didn't have to go downstairs to check his email or to boot around online.

Last July, friends of ours gave us an old IBM laptop so Thomas and I could both have a computer upstairs and the desktop would be used only for Thomas' recording projects. Well, shortly before I went back to work, I had an accident with the newer laptop by spilling something into the keyboard. This caused the laptop to not work at all. So, we were back to one laptop and one desktop, but we were fine with that because Thomas and I had moved the desktop upstairs so he could do his recording up here.

All was fine until today. My laptop, the older one that our friends gave us, shut down and nothing I could do would make it work. I tried to reformat the hard drive and that didn't even work. I tried to put a new hard drive in the computer and that didn't work. Nothing worked. The laptop would power up, but nothing would load. So, as of now, we are back to one computer. For a very short time, believe me!!!

My dream computer is a Mac. I had thought about getting an iBook or a PowerBook, but we haven't really had the best luck with laptops, so I am looking at an iMac. I was impressed tonight while looking at the iMac's, I can get a lot of computer for my money, a lot more than if I would buy a laptop, so it looks like we will have two desktops very soon. I plan to make my purchase when we get our tax return back. Thomas is going to get some equipment he needs for his music recording and I am going to get my computer. We are also going to go on a date, we haven't been on a date in quite a while because of Sofia, but it is time.

For other info, I am going shopping with a friend tomorrow. I am bringing Sofia and she is bringing her baby boy who is six weeks older than Sofia. My two toddlers are staying with Thomas, her two toddlers are staying at home with their dad. Going shopping with babies only is so easy, I am looking forward to it.

Tomorrow evening after I go shopping, we are going to look at a house. Not to buy, but our landlord also rents a home that has five bedrooms, compared to our three. That house just became vacant, and the rent is the same, so we are going to go look and see about moving over there. I am very excited. Drew will still have his own room, Possum will have his own room, and the girls will be together. That will give us a guest room, which we are excited about, we had one in St. Louis and that was WONDERFUL! So I hope everything works out for this.

And last of all, I have my annual evaluation at work on Wednesday evening. I am excited and nervous at the same time.

Have a good night everyone, I am tired and Harry Potter (as read by Jim Dale) is calling for me!

Dream Car?

Everyone has a dream car or cars. So, saying money is no object (you win the $300 million jackpot,) what car or cars would you go out and buy?

I have a few cars that I want, quite a few actually. My current "I want it" car is a convertible VW Beetle, but I want the cream color with the tan top. However, if money was no option, I have other cars I would want. I would like a red, convertible Porsche 911 (without a spoiler.) I would also want a great big Mercedes-Benz (I haven't quite decided which model, but it would be one of the big sedans.)

Thomas has always said he wants the Volvo V70, a station wagon.

But, if I could go out tomorrow and buy something brand new, it would be something small with awesome gas mileage. The Suburban is great for when we all go out, but it is overkill if I am driving it by myself. I would want a Toyota Prius or a Honda Civic Hybrid...I like the idea of 60mpg.

What about anyone else?

Pro-Life

My last post got me thinking about the terminology used in the abortion debate. Pro-life, pro-choice, pro-abortion, anti-abortion, anti-choice, pro-death, etc. I have heard the pro-death handle used by radical abortion activists.

So, I started thinking about the term pro-life and what it really means. Pro-life really means that the individual is FOR LIFE. Being raised Catholic, I have been raised in a pro-life environment. The Church believes in the sanctity of human life, all human life. The Church is against abortion, against the death penalty, against war, against human rights violations, etc.

Can you be pro-life, meaning anti-abortion, and pro-death penalty at the same time? Of course, you can be anti-abortion and pro-death penalty at the same time. However, I am not sure you can still call yourself pro-life. I think it is a big contradiction, but then we humans are very contradictory by nature.

I am not exactly sure where I stand on the death penalty issue, but I know I am mostly opposed to it. Most of my opposition though stems from the fact that it is not used equitably. I definitely lose no sleep over the fact that Ted Bundy was put to death, however I think it is a punishment that should be used in extreme cases only. I think that the risk of being wrong should limit the use to only the most heinous of crimes.

I know my own beliefs are all over the radar, but I also think the term pro-life should be used only by those that really are pro-life. I think I will have to refer to myself as anti-abortion, because the one thing I despise above all other things is hypocrisy, especially self-hypocrisy.

Abortion

I need to start this post by stating that I am blatantly stealing the idea from a blog I frequent regularly. The author of that blog and I agree that abortion is wrong. The author was stating in her comments that for someone to be against something, they must be for something as well. If we are against abortion, what are we for? I got the impression from her blog that she didn't think that stopping abortions was enough, and I have to say I agree with her (if that was indeed what she was saying.) We can't tell people that they HAVE to have a baby and then not give them options. Adoption is always an option if both of the baby's parents are Caucasian and healthy and the baby's mother has not used drugs or alcohol during her pregnancy. Of course, even the healthiest parents sometimes have a baby who has health problems, in that case the baby is less "adoptable."

I have copied my reply on her blog and I want to post that reply here, because I think it gives a good overview of my feelings:

I am against abortion. I am against abortion in cases of rape, though incest I am on the fence about. I am against abortion in the "life of the mother" loophole, because I really think that it is a loophole and not a valid reason for an abortion.

I believe birth control is a choice, but a choice that comes before conception and not afterwards. I am a BIG believer in personal responsibility.

I also believe that voting for a candidate SOLELY because they are anti-abortion is as wrong as abortion. Just because someone is anti-abortion does not mean they are a good person or a good leader. There are many issues and many ideologies and all must be weighed against each other.

I ALSO believe that to be anti-abortion, but to not realize that SOMETHING needs to be done for these unwanted babies is ALSO as wrong as abortion. To not help in some way is not right. To tell a woman she HAS to have a baby she does not want, but not help her in some way with what she needs to do is also wrong. If she is young, white, and healthy and the baby's father is young, white, and healthy there is not much to worry about, the baby will find a home. But if the baby is not white, the mom used drugs, the baby is not perfectly healthy, etc than most of these babies won't have a home.

Every state in the country needs foster parents for babies AND children. Some healthy who just aren't "privileged" to be white, some with special needs or chronic illnesses. Please help the situation not just spout ideologies.

So, there you have it, this is my belief. Abortion is not birth control, it is murder. Be responsible and prevent unwanted pregnancies before they occur!

Speaking English

A question that has been going through my mind in the past few days has to do with speaking English. This question has a couple different branches that I wish I could answer or receive an answer.

The first question is in regards to speaking English properly, in this I am talking about people born in this country who speak English as a first language. I work in a hospital, where most of the people employed there are professionals of one sort or another. In a professional environment, being able to speak proper English is necessary. Now, as I work in Georgia, most of the people I come in contact with have a deep Southern accent, but most people still speak properly. Yes, people have Southern ways of saying things and local colloquialisms, but this isn't my concern. When I worked in St. Louis, in the Midwest, there was local accents there as well as local colloquialisms, and again this isn't a problem. My biggest concern is the fact that so many people do not have a good grasp of proper English. Not only is this skill required for a professional, the lack of this skill makes people sound uneducated, lazy, and lacking respect.

The second question is in regards to people who move to this country who have spoken another language as their first language. I have no problems with people immigrating to the U.S. (legally) however, I do have a problem with people who choose to move here, live here, and work here, yet do not make any attempt to learn English. I understand that learning a second language takes time and effort, yet basic, conversational English should be relatively easy. I had a girlfriend who went to Spain as an exchange student for a summer, and she said it was VERY EASY to pick up a language if you were saturated in it, day in and day out. I would imagine the reverse would be true as well, and have had this confirmed by people I have talked to from other countries. I am not talking about fluency, just conversational.

If anyone can give me insight or opinions, please post and let me know.

Unions: Good or Bad

I have been reading a lot about the auto industry of late, about their financial woes, etc. There is the ongoing talk about the employees, specifically the unionized auto workers. The automobile manufacturers are losing money hand over fist, more accurately, they are hemorrhaging money. They blame this on the wages and benefits and pensions, etc of the workers and retirees. This may be partly true, as an auto worker with a high school education makes quite a bit more than I do as a Registered Nurse. Not only do they have better pay, they have better benefits and better retirement. However, with the automotive industry, I think the major problem is with a sub-par product. There is massive talk that the Asian carmakers don't have the union wages, benefits, pensions, retirees, etc as overhead, and yes this is true; but the major issue in my mind is the fact that the Japanese (and other Asian carmakers) build far superior automobiles. If Detroit built American automobiles with the quality, longevity, and efficiency of the Asians, the increased overhead would only be a minor factor. No one heard any crying out of Detroit in the 90's when people were buying the big SUV's. If Ford, GM, or Chrysler (whom I guess is still American) had ANY sort of foresight they would have the biggest cars with a minimum city MPG of 20, which is why I have no sympathy for the Big Three.

On the other side of the coin is the airlines. The airlines started their downfall with 9/11. They never recovered financially from the devastation before gasoline starting costing more and more and more. Don't even get me STARTED on the oil companies. Now, I don't think it is fair for the airlines to hide in bankruptcy protection and use that as leverage to cut their employees salaries by huge percentages. If I went to work and was told my salary would decrease by 25%, I would have to file for bankruptcy as well as my employer. Now the unions for the pilots and the flight attendants have bent over backwards to accommodate the airlines, but the airlines keep taking more and more. I don't know how long the employees can keep giving without getting. I hear the Delta pilots are talking about a strike and I can't say I blame them with all they have already given up. Now, unlike with the auto makers, I feel this is unfortunate for the airlines as well. I didn't mean there was anything wrong with them filing for bankruptcy except when it is used as an excuse to screw their employees.

Now, as a nurse, I have never worked as a union nurse. However, when I was a traveler, I did work in a facility where the nurses were unionized, although I was a contract employee and not under the umbrella of the union. I did get to feel the benefits of working where there was a collective voice, and I must say that it was phenomenal. Nurses had a voice and it was loud and it was acknowledged. One voice is nothing, but many are loud and powerful.

My dad was a union railroad worker and I remember him in contract negotiations and I remember him when he was on strike. I also remember that the workers ALWAYS gave more concessions than the railroad could ever dream of giving.

I have presented the positive of unions, but there are negatives as well. I know when the grocery store workers in St. Louis went on strike, they lost much more than their agreed upon contract made up for in the end. To be honest, I am not sure why cashiers and baggers should be unionized. Everywhere else I have ever lived, these jobs are normally filled by high school kids. Cake decorators and butchers I see, but not cashiers and baggers.

I would like to hear from anyone with positive or negative comments about unions as this is something I am VERY curious about and interested in.

The Acadamy Awards

We are watching The Acadamy Awards tonight. I have my favorites, of course, that I want to win. But to be absolutely honest, I haven't seen any of the movies nominated to win Best Picture, so I don't really have a choice for that award.

But in the acting categories, I do have favorites. Now to be fair, I can't comment on their performances in the roles they are nominated for, but I have seen them in many roles in the past. This does mean that I will be rooting for certain actors and actresses.

So far, George Clooney has won and Rachel Weisz has won. I didn't really have an opinion on the Supporting Actress category, but I am thrilled that George Clooney won for Supporting Actor. I would have been happy to see Matt Dillon win as well. As a side note, I don't think that Matt Dillon has aged in about twenty years, he is still adorable.

Well, Lauren Bacall is on right now. They have the picture behind her of when she was young; she was beautiful then and she is beautiful now. She has aged so gracefully.

Well, more comments to come later as I feel the need :o)

Music

Music is a big deal in my house with Thomas being a musician. We both have eclectic music tastes. While we don't agree 100% we do agree on a lot. We both like rock music and country music and classical music, etc. However, our least favorite music right now is pop country. I think if we were exposed to a lot of pop rock it might be high up on our dislike list as well, but we don't listen to any radio stations that play pop rock.

We do listen to a station that plays pop country though. I am a big country music fan, but I like classic country or music that is really country music. Unfortunately, country radio doesn't play much in the way of real country music anymore. A few years back, Vince Gill recorded an awesome country album called "High Lonesome Sound." This was IGNORED by country radio though Vince was a very popular singer at the time. I listen to a station locally that is big in classic country, I get to hear the greats all the time. I hear Conway, Patsy, Dolly, Kenny, The Oakridge Boys, Hank, George Jones, etc on a regular basis. However, any new song that sounds TOO country still seems to be avoided, which is sad in my opinion.

It is sad that some of the BEST country songs in recent memory were written and recorded by rock singers. Sheryl Crow and Kid Rock recorded "Picture," Sting had "I'm So Happy I Can't Stop Crying," and Bon Jovi just released "Who Says You Can't Go Home." Toby Keith did a cover of Sting's song and I think Sting recorded it with him and Bon Jovi's song is released on country radio with Jennifer Nettles from Sugarland (whom I dislike immensely!) I am not sure why rock musicians are coming up with some of the best country songs recorded (and played on country radio) in along time.

I don't have a problem with pop music in general, actually it really does have a place. However, I feel if you want to record pop music, record pop music and have it played on pop music stations. I get very frustrated when I want to listen to country music and turn on the radio and I hear pretty much what Brittney Spears is doing, but with a fiddle and a steal guitar added. This wouldn't be such an issue if it occurred once in a while, but this is all that I hear anymore.

I like music with heart and soul, and this is what is missing in most any type pop music. Give me some Melissa Etheridge, Dave Matthews, Patsy Cline, and Loretta Lynn any day!

Odds and Ends

Well, Thomas is officially finished at Chili's, and I for one am very happy. It was nice to have the extra cash coming in, but I find greater fulfillment out of our time at home than with anything that extra money could buy. Also, with the greater responsibility I have at work with the committees means we REALLY need him to be home in the evenings so we can have time together now that I am away more.

We are starting to talk about buying a house. Nothing serious yet, but we are talking which is very exciting...and a little scary too. Since we know we don't want to stay here forever, we aren't sure if we want to buy now or not. However, if we stay four more years, we will have had a little time to build some equity into a home and that would allow us to be able to have a pretty good down payment on a home where ever we decide to move. Of course selling is always risky because you never know what the market will be when you want to move. Right now this area seems to be very much a buyers market, but that isn't good if you are trying to sell.

Possum is in his second session of swimming lessons, he has classes every Monday and Wednesday. He loves the classes, he takes them with my friends' daughter Grace and they are having fun. He is very daring, while Grace is more timid, so it has been interesting watching them progress. Speaking of Grace, when my friend was working a couple of weekends ago (Heather is also a nurse,) Grace got hold of a pair of scissors when her dad fell asleep on the couch and gave herself a haircut. Grace is three, she will be four in April, she is definitely not a hair stylist. Heather had to take her to get her hair "fixed."

Okay, so I am watching SVU as I am typing this, and John Munch is such a cynic. He is always going on about Big Brother, I think John and Thomas are related. Sofia is having "tummy time" while I am doing this and she is getting very unhappy. She doesn't like tummy time very much, but this isn't the first time I have had one of my children mad at me, and it won't be the last.

Tomorrow is grocery day, so it will be busy. We will go to BJ's and Kroger, and spend a fortune I am sure. We will go after swimming lessons, so we will have a long day. I am not too fond of our BJ's locally, which is a shame as the one in North Carolina was outstanding. I wish we had a Costco like we did in St. Louis, but there is not one close by, though there are rumors that one might be built.

Well, enough rambling for tonight.

Where Do I Want To Live For The Rest Of My Life?

This has been a big topic of conversation in our house lately. Where do we want to settle down and live forever? We like it here, but we know this is not where we want to stay forever. We LOVED California, but we will never be able to buy a house there as it is WAY to expensive. Small houses generally had $6000/month mortgage payments, I can't imagine what we would have to pay for a four bedroom house. So unless we win the lottery, I don't see living in California permanently as an option. Now, as has been discussed on this blog in depth, I enjoyed many things about St. Louis, but had a hard time with the lack of friendliness/ability to make friends. Also the fact that the nurses are paid crap doesn't help. If I could move the zoo, the museum, and the science center to an area of the country that was friendlier and paid better, I would have found my dream locale (as long as the weather suited!)

The weather is actually of significant discussion in our house. We would love to live in California as I said, and we could deal with the lack of four seasons for the payoff of a mild summer. However, as we can't afford to live there, this is a non-issue. Since we are living on the East Coast we really are living in an area with four seasons, which I love. However, I like a cold, snowy winter and that does not exist in Georgia. I hate hot, sticky summers, but I could deal with it if the trade off was a cold, snowy winter. This is why dealing with St. Louis summers was okay, we generally had cold winters even though there wasn't enough snow for my taste. I prefer cold to hot anytime, no matter the precipitation levels.

So, of late, we have been discussing the Northeast as an option. Now, I HAVE to have a pediatric facility to work in as I WON'T go back to adults, and to be honest, real pediatrics is done in children's hospitals, not on "pediatric" floors in regular hospitals. My experience with nurses who have worked on "peds" floors is that they say they take care of adult "overflow" patients more than they care for kids. So anywhere we would go would be contingent on the availability of a pediatric hospital. Of course, pay versus cost of living is of significant concern. My pay would have to be the same as it is here, based on the cost of living of wherever we moved to, meaning if it would have to increase if it was more expensive to live in the area, and it could decrease if the cost of living was less.

The other issue is Drew, we won't move ANYWHERE until he is out of high school unless he gives his approval. We have promised we will stay here until he graduates, which is four and a half years from now. However, he knows we won't be here permanently, so if he ever decides he doesn't like it here or he just wishes to move on, we will start looking.

My mom and my brothers live in Virginia, and though I don't want to move there, I do want to be "relatively" close. Driving, they live about ten hours from us now and I wouldn't want to be farther than that unless we win the lottery and move to California, but then we could fly back and forth frequently without money concerns.

We have discussed Philadelphia, as this meets most of my needs. Philly has cold winters and an outstanding children's hospital. CHOP is the number one children's hospital in the country, so there is nothing to complain about there, I just need to research how they pay.

We have also discussed New England, and some areas have children's hospitals, so again the issue would be pay, since I know New England has snowy winters.

Thomas is opposed to NYC, which is somewhere I would love to go. He would go to New York if it was outside of the city. I am not sure if there are any children's hospitals outside of NYC, so I will have to do some research.

It all boils down to not really having some place either of us really feel is home. Thomas would go back to Raleigh in a heartbeat, but I have no desire to live in North Carolina again. I grew up in Virginia, but its not home anymore, unfortunately I don't think I have found anywhere that is home. I will just pray that wherever we go is where we are supposed to be and we go when we are supposed to.

Random Thoughts

Last night was BUSY at work, but thankfully the group of nurses I worked with were big on the idea of teamwork. There were two new graduate nurses on the floor last night, and it reminded me how far I have come in almost seven years as a nurse. One of the two is doing pretty good for where she is post-graduation. The other just can't wrap her brain around the big picture and gets stuck on relatively minor details that don't matter much in the grand scheme, hopefully she will catch on. As I don't work on that floor often, it may be a month or more before I go back, so maybe there will be visible improvement.

I got an admission of a teenage girl, who by the what the ER told me when they were describing her symptoms, etc sound like she might have HIV, which broke my heart in thinking that it might be true. However, when she got to the floor and getting to talk to her and her mom, the symptoms sound more like an autoimmune disorder, most likely lupus. Thankfully there are tests for lupus, but I don't know why she has never been tested before as these are chronic problems, some symptoms since she was four.

However, thinking about HIV made me very aware that the kids AND their parents need some real education. Most parents and teens worry about pregnancy, which is legitimate, unfortunately sometimes pregnancy is the least of the problems. HIV and Hepatitis are HUGE problems, not to mention the many other STD's that kids can be exposed to during unprotected sex. I have had a few kids come in who are on birth control pills, with their parent's knowledge, but have had gonorrhea, pelvic inflammatory disease, or other issues.

As a parent, I want my children to make good choices and I don't want them to become sexually active while in high school. However, as a realist (and a pediatric nurse,) I realize that if they AREN'T sexually active, they will be in a significant minority. I also want to make sure that my children, should they decide to become sexually active, make safe choices.

On a more chipper note, Drew is in the kitchen doing one of his favorite things, he is baking chocolate chip cookies. Drew loves to make cookies. I like to bake, but cookies are tedious for me, I prefer to bake cakes, brownies, etc. I want to get my mom's recipe for "Death By Chocolate" Cheesecake to make sometime. I love that cheesecake, but I need to make it when we have company as it is VERY rich.

I am car shopping, not SERIOUSLY yet, but soon enough. I won't buy anything new at this time, maybe in a few years. However, we are a one car family at this time, which we have been for quite a while, so that is not the issue. BUT, our one car is a Chevy Suburban and my one way drive to work is about 26-27 miles. I want to buy a small car to go to and from work and for errands that I do on my own, or with just one child. I used to have a Honda Civic, which I loved and would be ideal again. My mom drives a 2000 Toyota Echo and gets about 40-45 mpg on average. The Suburban is necessary for all of us to fit, our Jeep only seated five and now we are six. I do miss the Jeep, though the gas mileage is about the same in the Jeep and the Suburban, but the Jeep was significantly smaller. The Suburban is big and cumbersome, I am getting used to driving it, and more specifically, parking it, but it seems like overkill for me to drive it by myself to and from work.

My other thought is that I blessed with my family, I have healthy and happy children and I am married to a man that I love more and more everyday.

My Boss

I have to say that I am very lucky, I have the best boss I could imagine. I have been a nurse almost seven years and have worked under many different nurse managers, some good and some bad; Vicky is bar far the best.

I was hired in December of 2004 by a different manager and I didn't know that my department was getting a new manager when I accepted the job. I got very lucky, not that the other manager wasn't good. Vicky started a gradual takeover of our department in January and was fully our manager in April. I liked her immediately. When my mother-in-law died at the end of June, she was so supportive, telling me to take all the time I needed. When I went into early labor and got put on bed rest, she again told me not to worry, but to take care of myself and do what I needed to do to have a healthy baby.

Yesterday evening I called her office at 8:00 PM to leave her a message so she could call me next week. She was still in her office and talked to me for twenty minutes even though she had been at work all day long. She is very encouraging to me in my career endeavors.

I wish every boss could be like mine, unfortunately too many people who get into management do so because they are not capable of doing the jobs of those they manage. Thankfully, Vicky is not like this, she is an awesome nurse. I am very lucky to have a boss that I both like and respect.

Going to Church

Thomas and I have discussed going back to church numerous times. We have discussed where to go should we go, and because of my beliefs, I would only want to go to a Catholic Church and Thomas has said he would be very willing to go with me.

Most of my nursing career, I have worked every weekend or every other weekend which isn't conducive to church going, actually working EVERY weekend makes it impossible. I now work every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night. It is actually possible to go to church, but I am exhausted on Sunday mornings after working 36 hours in three days.

Thankfully, the Catholic Church has many options for Mass. You can go Saturday evening, any number of choices on Sunday morning (most churches have at least three Sunday morning Masses,) and some churches have a Sunday evening Mass. Unfortunately, some Sunday evening Masses are "youth" Masses, which is not a problem in theory, but I have been to some really bad youth Masses. In all honesty, I have not been to a youth Mass here locally, but I always have a bad taste in my mouth at the thought, because of past experiences.

The other "issue" is of course, we are living in the middle of the Baptist buckle of the Bible Belt. I can get in my car and drive two miles in any direction and I will come across at least one, usually more, Baptist Churches of one variety or another. I wish I could say the same for Catholic Churches, but that is on the other end of the spectrum. There are NO Catholic Churches within two miles of my house, I think the closest one is between 5-10 miles away and is an "old fashioned" Church in the sense that they still ONLY say Mass in Latin. I think the second closest Church is between 10-15 miles from here (and last time I checked on the website, they didn't have a Sunday evening Mass.) Which means that the closest Catholic Church with a Sunday evening Mass is quite a drive.

I know, I know, I shouldn't complain and I should suck it up and deal with it and just drive however far I have to drive. But, to get four children ready for Church, with the three youngest aged three and younger, it would be quite a challenge getting anywhere in the evening, especially since the little ones are getting close to their 7:00 bedtime.

unfortunately, there is no way I can change my schedule to make going to Church "work" better. I have to work every weekend for financial reasons. However, I am feeling the need to go back to Church. I want to go for the spiritual reasons, but also for the social reasons. I guess I will go back to the Diocese website and see what I can find during some down time this weekend at work.

I just ask anyone reading this to say prayers that I can find something that will work for my family. I don't want to go to Church by myself, so it really does have to work for the entire family. Just don't suggest we go to a different denomination because anytime I have looked into that, it has never happened because of my own belief system. Just pray for me during this time of looking to go back to Church.

Nursing Humor

Nurses are an interesting breed and we have a very weird sense of humor, some might even say demented. I did a search online for some of my favorite nursing jokes and thought I would share them here. My comments will be added in a different color if I feel the urge to expound.

Top Ten Reasons To Become A Nurse:

1. Pays better than fast food, though the hours aren't as good.
2. Fashionable shoes and sexy, white uniforms. (Thank God for scrubs.)
3. Needles: Its better to give than receive.
4. Reassure your patients that all bleeding stops....eventually.
5. Expose yourself to rare, exciting, and exotic new diseases.
6. Interesting aromas.
7. Courteous and infallible doctors who always leave clear orders in perfectly legible handwriting.
8. Do enough charting to navigate around the world. (Twice.)
9. Celebrate the holidays with all your friends...at work.
10. Take comfort that most of your patients survive no matter what you do to them.


You know you are a nurse when:
~ Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal. (You mean its not?)
~ You compliment a complete stranger on his veins.
~ You find yourself betting on someone's alcohol level.
~ You know that KY Jelly is optional.
~ You believe every patient needs TLC: Thorazine, Lorazepam, and Compazine.
~ You would like to meet the inventor of the call light in a dark alley one night. (Amen.)
~ You believe not all patients are annoying...some are unconscious.
~ Your sense of humor gets more "warped" each year.
~ You can only tell time with a 24 hour clock.
~ Almost everything can seem humorous...eventually.
~ You've been telling stories in a restaurant and had someone at another table throw up.
~ You notice that you use more four letter words now than before you became a nurse.
~ You don't get excited about blood loss...unless its your own.
~ Eating microwave popcorn out of a clean bedpan seems perfectly natural.
~ You've sworn that you are going to have "NO CODE" tattooed to your chest. (Double amen.)

I hope everyone got at least a small smile from these.

Causing Pain

The thought of causing, or inflicting pain, always brings to mind the idea of physical pain. However, physical pain is sometimes much easier to deal with than emotional pain or anguish. So this blog today is about causing emotional pain.

We are all human, and we have all hurt each other from time to time. None of us are perfect, and we can even hurt another person unintentionally. Thinking back over my life I can recall instances where I have hurt those that I loved or cared about. Sometimes it is unavoidable. I am thinking of a young person breaking up with their high school boyfriend or girlfriend. However, I think having our hearts broken is a necessary step in growing up. It is never easy to have your heart broken, but we do move on and do we even remember the names of everyone we ever dated and dumped or were dumped by?

I am having a difficult time putting my thoughts down on this subject because, though I know what I am thinking, I am having a hard time putting it into words. So bear with me if I ramble or don't make sense from time to time.

I am thinking of situations where people do things for no other reason than to cause pain, or they do it in spite of the pain they will cause, because it will make things easier or better for them, neverminding what it will do to someone else. These types of situations are what I have been thinking about (though I know I am not doing a very good job of putting my thoughts down.)

These types of situations are ones that I think a person must not only ask for God's forgiveness, but for the forgiveness of those they have wronged. Some injuries have more than one victim, those that are the obvious victim and those that are hurt, even if they don't seem to be at the time.

I am hoping that typing this will be cathartic, because I carrying around ill will towards people who have hurt me and those I love. I ask God to help me with the ill feelings I have, but as with most things, I try to "help" God fix me, which never works, and I know this. However, as a human, I have a hard time letting anyone "fix" me or things around me, even if we are talking about the perfect, all knowing, all loving God.

So, I ask God to help me forgive, even if I am unable to forget.

Child Abuse

A fellow nurse had mentioned this case to me, but I just saw it for myself in the paper. A mother in Texas was watching the news and said that God told her to chop her baby girls arms off and then chop her own arms, legs, and head off.

A local man, here in the Atlanta metro area, convinced homeless women to let him take in their children (girls) and then proceeded to rape and beat these girls. His own teenage son is accused of raping some of the girls and his daughter is accused of beating them. Of course, the mothers in this situation share some guilt, I can't imagine what it is like to be homeless and not sure when, or if, your kids will eat again, let alone where they will sleep. So, when a well dressed man talks to you about helping you out by taking in your children until you get back on your feet, I guess the offer might seem tempting. This man is getting ready to stand trial, but unfortunately the girls he harmed are going to be the ones to pay a terrible price for the the rest of their lives.

As a nurse in a pediatric hospital, I have had the unfortunate experience of dealing with abuse and neglect. I am grateful that I have not had to deal with this too much, well not abuse anyway. I do see more neglect than I could have imagined, and neglect is a form of abuse.

As a mother of four, I do understand getting frustrated with children. Believe me, I am human, one child can be frustrating at times, let alone two or three or more. However, I could not imagine hurting my children, especially hurting them in the extremes. I don't understand how one could beat,torture, or maime their children. I don't understand how anyone could starve their children, lock them in closets, deny them hugs and kisses, etc.

My children are the most precious human beings in the world. All children are precious and are gifts from God. God entrusts these fragile, innocent beings to our care and I have accepted His gifts, and while I fail to meet His perfection, I do feel I am a good mother. I try my best, and I know sometimes I fall short, but I could never cause harm to my children in any way.

I just don't understand how anyone can hurt a child. I pray for wisdom in caring for the children who have suffered the unimaginable. I also pray for wisdom in dealing with individuals who have caused this harm.

Divorce

Let me start this post by first stating that divorce is a terrible ordeal for everyone involved. It is even worse when children are involved. Thomas and I have both been divorced. We were both married once before we got married to each other. I never want to get divorced again, but thankfully I am married to a man who is absolutely perfect for me, so I don't ever foresee this marriage not working.

I am thinking about the subject of divorce because friends of ours are in the middle of splitting up. It is a strange place to be when you are friends to both of the parties involved. Thomas and I have not wanted to take sides, but offer our friendship and support to both. This is VERY difficult, especially when one of the individuals starts acting completely insane. I should say that neither of them are without blame, and both have done things that are rather stupid since they split up, but one of them has gone above and beyond the bounds of "normal stupidity."

I won't go into all the sordid details on this blog, but I do wonder how folks who managed to be married for almost 20 years all of a sudden start acting like teenagers, neverminding the fact that they have teenagers of their own. Heck, their own teenagers are acting more mature than their parents are at this point in time. Actually, part of the couple is doing worse than acting like a teenager, this person is becoming HUGELY irresponsible and becoming violent, to the point they have threatened their spouse's life. Yes, law enforcement is involved, so hopefully everything will be okay.

There is a heck of a lot more going on, but Thomas and I have discussed this and don't feel like I should put this on a blog in case the folks involved, or their friends, should read this. I do want to say that both parties are at fault and both have made bad choices since they split up. I do not think that, as far as the marriage is concerned, that either party is more or less to blame about its failure than the other party. I do believe that one of them is acting with much less sense since they split, but aside from the threats being made, I don't think anyone has the right to act like a victim as they have both screwed up the situation.

Now, should anyone involved read this, I don't want anyone's feeling hurt, which is why I have left out names, and even genders in my discussion. I also want both individuals to know that I still care for them both, if not the choices they have made, and that I am praying for them and their children. I hope both of them can put aside any hurt and blame they feel and start to work in the best interests of their children, and themselves.

New Look

I decided it was time for a change. I liked the other look because it was very feminine, however it was becoming a little too pink for me. So, I will see how I like this look.

Fun Day

We had a really nice day today. We got up and went to Discover Mills, our local shopping outlet mall. I love this mall, it is very similar to the other Mills malls that I have been to, such as Concord Mills (NC,) Franklin Mills (PA,) and Great Mall (CA.) St. Louis Mills opened shortly before we moved away from St. Louis, so we never got to go there, but I am sure it is very similar to the four I have been to.

Drew's birthday was on Saturday, but I had to work, so we didn't really get to celebrate until today. He had already gotten part of his birthday presents on Friday and Saturday, but I bought him one today at the LEGO store. He had gotten money for his birthday from my mom and from us, and his uncle (my brother) gave him an American Express Gift Card, so he has quite a bit of money he could spend on himself. He bought a $10 book and a $5 poster and that's it, he is VERY stingy when it comes to spending his own money. He got a $25 Old Navy gift card from his grandmother for Christmas and he managed to get two pairs of pants, a jacket, and a scarf with that $25 and still got $4 back that they gave him in cash. He stretches money as far as it will go, which is a good thing, but I always remember spending my birthday money as fast as I could :o)

Well, we had a great day as I said. We got Possum's hair cut and Sofia got her ears pierced. We got Olivia's ears pierced at about this same age and it was great. They got to heal without her messing with them, so they never got infected. Possum and Olivia also got to ride the Coca-Cola Polar Bear Train, which they thought was way cool!

We finished up our outing by going to Chili's for dinner. Drew got his favorite, the ribs, which he only gets on his birthday. We then came home and had cake and ice cream, the cake had blue frosting so everyone's mouth and tongue is blue, which is silly. Well, Sofia didn't get any blue frosting, but I did give her a tiny taste of white frosting, which she seemed to enjoy by the way she kept licking her lips.

All in all, the day has been nice and Drew enjoyed himself, so I think the day was a winner overall.

Christianity

Okay, let me preface this post by saying that my husband and I come from VERY different religious backgrounds. I was born and raised Roman Catholic. Thomas became a member of the Church of Christ as a teenager, he even went to two different colleges that are Church of Christ institutions.

As I am not one to keep my mouth shut (and neither is Thomas) we have had many interesting conversations about religion. While I still hold most of the teachings of the Catholic Church as true, I do disagree in certain areas (though this isn't what this blog is about.) Thomas has long since moved away from the teachings of the Church of Christ, but he did earn a degree in Bible, so he is very educated on what the Bible says. This has lead to many "interesting" discussions in our house, but I feel I have come away with greater knowledge, and sometimes greater conviction in my own beliefs.

Now, I am actually going to get to the topic of this blog. The religion both of us grew up in is Christianity, which is the "religion of Christ." I guess my main issue is that almost EVERY religious denomination spends too much time following the teachings of individuals who are NOT Christ. Jesus never minced words, he always said what he believed, so I think if HE wanted women to sit down and shut up, He would have told us to do so.

Paul's religous background was Judaism, which is very legalistic. Paul's beliefs changed after the "road to Damascus." However, I don't think Paul was very good at functioning in a situation that didn't have "rules." So, unfortunately, I think Paul created some rules that fit in with his "comfort level" with religous practice. I do believe that Paul was a good man and that he loved Christ, but I think he does what we all do, he made things fit into what made him comfortable. No one likes leaving their comfort zone, that is very scary, and Paul was just a man, a human with human failings.

Jesus however, is the Son of God. He is perfect in every way. He loves us. He never said that women could not participate, lead, serve, speak, etc. We need to remember what was said in John 3:16. It said "whosoever believes in Him shall not perish, but live everlasting life." It didn't say that he who follows the "rules" best wins, it say "believes in Him."

Women in Church

I was reading on another blog recently about women's roles in Church. I have a hard time with some of the discussion on this other blog, and had to be careful what I said because some of the responders had VERY different opinions from mine. The difference in opinion is probably due to the difference in religious upbringing and belief. My background is Roman Catholic and, while I am not currently going to Church, I still hold most of the beliefs of the Catholic Church as true.

Now, as for women in Church, I don't want to go to Church and listen to a woman preacher. Now this isn't because I believe it is wrong in any way, shape, or form, it is just personal preference; just like I would never go to a woman gynecologist, it would make me very uncomfortable.

I have always gone to Church and women have read scripture and served Communion and lead singing, etc. Nuns have very important roles in the Church and work very closely with the Priests. Now, for people unfamiliar with a Catholic Mass, there are three scriptures read from the Bible every week. The first is from the Old Testament, the second is from the New Testament (not a Gospel), and the third is from the Gospel. Members of the congregation read the scriptures from the Old and New Testament and the Priest reads the Gospel passage. Men and women alike read the Old and New Testament scriptures, all who feel called to read are allowed to do so. Of course, who reads on which week is pre-arranged, but anyone who wishes is allowed to join the Lectors (the group of people who do the readings.)

As for Communion, the Catholic Church is very strict in the teachings and beliefs surrounding the Sacrament of the Eucharist. The Priest prepares the bread and wine, and does the prayers, etc. As for serving communion, this is like the Lectors, anyone who wishes to serve may do so. There is a group of people who serve communion, and who does so on any given week is arranged in advance, but anyone may join the group of people who do this.

Women also lead singing on a regular basis. Most Catholic Churches have someone whose job it is to be the Music Leader, of course this is a job for which one applies. However, anyone who wishes to apply may do so. I have been to churches with men in charge of music and churches with women in charge of music. For me music is a very important part of the entire experience for me. I am not a fan of organ music, at least not if that is the primary form of music played. I prefer a much more contemporary musical ministry. I like pianos, horns, guitars, drums, violins, etc. Most contemporary music ministries welcome any type of instrument that one wishes to use in worship. I am not talking about music like Stryper or Petra (am I aging myself?) I definitely wouldn't want the feel of a rock concert, if I want to hear Bon Jovi play I will go see Bon Jovi in concert, not at Church. However, I do like (and require) a Church that has a very involved music ministry as part of worship. I have been to a couple of Churches with such superb music ministries, that this has become a necessity for me. I don't get much out of Church if the music is not top notch.

Now that I have gone off on a tangent, I need to come back to the topic at hand, which is the role of women in Church. I firmly believe that there is no reason for a woman not to have an active role in Church, in fact, I believe it is wrong to not allow a woman to be active. As I said, the official "leader" of the service/mass/whatever, in MY OPINION should be a man, but as for supporting roles, like scripture reading and serving communion and leading singing, should be open to men and women alike. The Bible says that men should lead, and for one who takes a literal interpretation of the Bible, then yes, only men should "lead" but I believe other roles are more supporting and, in no way, usurp the leadership of men.

Just my opinion.

Happy Birthday Drew

As I start this blog, the computer clock say it is 2:10 AM. At this moment, fourteen years ago, I was on my way to the operating room to have an emergency c-section. Drew was born at 2:24 AM, February 18, 1992. He weighed 7lb 2.5oz and was 20.5 in long.

After a very long labor of 20 hours and 2 more hours of pushing, Drew started to go into distress and the doctor determined that I would not be able to deliver a baby...ever. So, I had the first of four c-sections and I had a healthy baby boy. He and I both ended up with a fever and he was put on antibiotics for three days, but that was really the only problem that occured.

Drew has become such a fine young man. He is developing his own opinions and interests. He loves musicals. He is developing an interest in theatre and wants to be a part of the magnet program at one of the high schools in our county.

He is a great big brother, Possum and Olivia adore him. I am very proud of how well he deals with them (most of the time.)

I am enjoying watching him grow, I am interested in the man he will become.

So, at 2:20, four minutes before his official time of birth, I want to say "Happy Birthday Drew." I love you very much.

Happy Valentine's Day

I want to wish my wonderful husband a very Happy Valentine's Day!

I am the luckiest woman in the entire world. I have found the only man that is 100% perfect for me, not many people are that fortunate.

So, Thomas, I love you very much. You are the best friend, husband, and lover I could have ever wished for. You are the most wonderful father a child could ever have, our children will count themselves blessed that they have you as a dad.

Thank you for all your love and support.

I love you.

My Career

Okay, before I get started on the topic at hand, I have to note that my two posts that disappeared have never reappeared, so maybe I will work on those again at some other time.

Now for the topic at hand. My husband is a stay-at-home dad. He has been waiting tables to supplement my short term disability while I was on maternity leave and is still working, just till I get a couple of full paychecks. We had talked about him continuing to work a couple of nights a week, so he could get out of the house and so I could have some quiet, alone time that wasn't just during my commute. It is a great idea in theory, but things have come into play that make this so it won't work.

Last year the hospital introduced a new career ladder for nurses. We had to choose which level we wanted to work towards, we could maintain the level we are at or challenge a higher level. All new graduate nurses are automatically placed in the "novice" category and must challenge the "colleague" level for the next year. All experienced nurses (staff nurses, not management) are hired in at the "colleague" level and can either stay at that level or challenge for the "resource" level. I decided that I wanted to challenge for the resource level.

I am very grateful that I had the foresight to get my requirements done early as I had all my "points" completed and compiled before I was put on bed rest. Of course, for our first year in the program we were only required to obtain half the number of points they want us to get in the future. It was a challenge getting the 12.5 points I needed, but I managed to do so (I actually got 13 or 14), it is going to be more of a challenge getting 25 points this year. I needed the 12.5 to challenge for the resource level, if the career advancement committee denies my promotion for any reason, I need 25 points to challenge next year. If they approve my promotion, I need 25 points to maintain my level next year, so either way, I need 25 points which is a lot of work above and beyond the "basic" requirements of my job.

All that being said, I feel I am up to the challenge. Being the sole wage earner means I need to focus on my career and I need to look for opportunities to further it. I am planning on going back to college to get my Bachelor's degree as it will be a requirement for me to go any further at this hospital. Other hospitals don't necessarily make a BSN a requirement, but it definitely doesn't hurt. I do also want a Masters degree eventually. However, I don't want to become a Nurse Practitioner, which is what I used to want to do. I think I want to pursue my Masters in Health Care Administration as I do think I want to become a manager in the future. I don't need a Masters to be a Nurse Manager, just a Bachelors but I think my eventual goal is to work in the upper levels of hospital administration...............Someday!

So, for the time being, I am going to do all the committee work required of me and look to going back to college. Thomas has given his notice at work, so we can actually see each other. We like each other and we like spending time together, which means something has to give. Since nothing I am doing can be done away with, he is giving up his "job" so he can focus on his career as well, which is being a stay at home dad. We both love our jobs and we are both supportive of each other in our endeavors. I am a lucky lady to have this wonderful life and wonderful husband and wonderful family.

Enough rambling for now. Dinner is ready and these kids are tired, so they need to eat and go to bed.

Looking for a new blog service...

I have had two new blogs that I had saved, but not published disappear. I have also had a couple of replies to other people disappear, not show up as deleted, just not show up at all. So, I think it is time to find a new service. I will provide further info when available. I am just really frustrated by the events over the last week with my blogging.

The War In Iraq

I know I am not alone in thinking it is time to get the heck out of Iraq. I understand why we are in Afghanistan, and I support that military action, but I cannot figure out why we are in Iraq.

The military action in Iraq has shown that there were no weapons of mass destruction. I am very relieved that Saddam Hussein is out of power; he was an evil tyrrant who had no respect of human life. Unfortunately, our President is not much better. Granted, we are not tortured in the streets of Washington daily, but we are subjected to illegal wire taps. I would much rather the wire taps over torture, but we are guaranteed privacy in our Constitution and I want to have my privacy. Not that I say anything on the phone that any government agency would EVER find interesting, unless they are interested in the goings on of my crazy kids, but I still want the rights I am promised.

Back to Iraq, this country is hemorrhaging money to support this military action. We are the greatest country in the world, but we should hang our heads in shame. How can we spend money to fight a war when we have people who have no food, no healthcare, no home, etc? How is it that we can PAY our farmers to NOT produce crops when we have kids going to bed with empty bellies? We have MORE than enough to provide for our own, yet we do not, we should be ashamed of this.

The funny thing is, I voted for Bush, and I generally vote Republican. I guess my political leaning would be considered moderate as I have leanings that are both conservative and liberal, depending on the issue. I am almost ashamed to admit I voted for Bush and 2008 can't come qiuck enough in my opinion.

Sofia says mama has rambled enough tonight and she is hungry.

Back At Work

Well, I finished my first week back to work and am getting ready to start my second week on Thursday. My work week is Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights. I work twelve hour night shifts from 7:00 PM - 7:30 AM. I am fortunate that I have a career in which there is flexible scheduling that allows me to work only three days per week and still be considered a full time employee. There is a downside however, it is very difficult to work 36 (37.5) hours in three days.

My first night was exhausting, though not TOO busy. I worked in the NICU and had two babies who thought that they were feeling much better, thank you, and they needed to scream all night long. The poor nurse whose babies were next to mine just kept helping me go put pacifiers in mouths and turning the babies, etc. One of my babies wasn't allowed to eat at all, and she was VERY unhappy about that, and didn't care that I can't override the doc's decision on the matter. The other baby could eat an ounce and a half every three hours, but he preferred to sleep when I put the bottle in his mouth. He then would get mad about an hour after he got his feeding through his tube because I wasn't feeding him. Newborns are hard to reason with. LOL!!!

I should be grateful that my first night wasn't too busy though as EVERYTHING changed while I was gone. Well, not everything, but close enough. The intranet site changed and I couldn't find the link to the program where we clock in at, thankfully a nice day shift nurse helped me out with that one. The admission database is now done on the computer, so I got to practice that on my second and third nights as those were the nights I got admissions. Our medication administration records are now computerized as well, so I had to remember to chart my medicines on the computer. None of the programs are complicated, it just took a while to figure out as I had my training on this back in August. The "go live" date for the new programs in the hospital was 11/2, I went into early labor on Halloween, so I missed all the excitement, but I also had almost six months go by from when I last used the programs.

Being a nurse is one thing, I didn't forget how to do that while I was out, but when there are MAJOR changes during that time, it does make for challenges upon my return. Thankfully they didn't change the IV pumps or the PCA pumps or any of the patient care equipment while I was gone :o)

I can say, I am glad to be back at work..........................I think. I do love my patients, and I had a great group this past weekend. The patients were great and their parents were too, which ALWAYS helps. I was also fortunate enough to work with sympathetic nurses who gave me the time and space I needed to work on getting a groove with all the new procedures. I only had a run in with the pharmacist, but he is a jerk to everyone, so I won't take that personally and the day shift charge nurse on Sunday morning. I don't know what her problem was, but she seemed to take the fact that they were short staffed out on me. I don't care though, I don't have to work on her floor for another few weeks, so she will be over whatever was bothering her by then.

Enough rambling for tonight.

One More Week

I went to my OB yesterday for my six week post-natal checkup and received a clean bill of health. He checked my abdomen and my incision and said all was well. He did NOT do a pap smear which did not hurt my feelings at all. I love my OB, he is a great guy. Now, since he didn't do a pap, I will have to see my primary care physician, but that is okay since I have a few other minor things I want to see her for as well.

I return to work one week from tonight, almost to the minute. As I look at the computer's clock it say it is 7:08 and my shift starts at 7:00, so it is almost exactly one week. I have to admit that I am well past ready to go back. If I had gone out on maternity leave when Sofia was born, I would still want more time, but since I went out over a month early, I am ready.

I work in the flex-pool, which means I work on almost every floor in the hospital, so I am assigned to the NICU my first night back. I am excited about this as the NICU is my favorite, but also because I know I won't overdo it with lifting or anything. No baby in the NICU is going to weigh anywhere near what my ox of a child weighs. She measured out in the 90-95% range for height and weight at her one month check-up, so those teeny-tiny babies will be a piece of cake.

Well, I have to go and fold laundry (exciting I know.) It is okay though as Olivia has her Season One Wonder Woman DVD in playing, so I can watch and fold at the same time. These are the WW2 episodes and we are working our way through the season. Olivia is very glad Santa brought these for her.

Law & Order

Since shortly before Christmas, I have been watching reruns of Law & Order: SVU and Law & Order: CI on USA. I have even caught a few new episodes on NBC of both shows. I never watched either show because I never liked the original Law & Order. I know this places me in a minority, but I just never enjoyed Law & Order. Now, I need to clarify that I really enjoy SVU and, though I will watch Criminal Intent occasionally, I don't like it as much as SVU.

One of the main things I like, that is important in any television show is chemistry amongst the cast. This is what I found missing with the original Law & Order, and my lack of interest in that show is why I never watched any of the spin-offs. The cast of SVU has tremendous chemistry, I really love Richard Belzer and Ice-T as Munch and Fin. I like the lead actors as well, but Munch and Fin are my favorites. Now, I understand that Richard Belzer has played John Munch on six different shows, including the original Law & Order, but I had never "met" the character before December.

As I said, I enjoy the show and the chemistry of the entire cast. Christopher Meloni, Mariska Hargitay, Dann Florek, Diane Neal, B.D. Wong, Tamara Tunie and the aforementioned Richard Belzer and Ice-T are a wonderful group of actors and I truly enjoy the show.

Enough rambling for tonight.

What's In A Name?

Just having had a baby, the thought of naming a child is still on my mind. It is an issue I feel strongly about as well. As a pediatric nurse, I come in contact with a significant number of children. Unfortunately, I come in contact with a lot of children with terrible names. I am sure some people who read this might think I mean ethnic names, and I can say that, to an extent, that is true. However, that is not completely true. As for ethnic names, I took care of one poor baby whose name included the letters j, q, v, and z. I could rant for along time about just that name, but I won't. I read an article on msnbc.com this past fall that showed results of a study that linked success with a person's name, and the results weren't good for someone who's name was ethnic.

But, let me move away from ethnicity as that is not the main focus of my blog today. My major issue is the large number of baby boys who are not being given strong male names. When a parent names a baby boy they need to think if it sounds feminine, if it does, please move on to the next name please. Now, my husband has a good friend named Jody. Jody is a guy, unfortunately Jody has a girl's name. Kelly is a girl's name, yet I went to school with a guy named Kelly. There are a couple of male country singers named Tracy, in my experience Tracy is a girl's name. And this was from "my" generation. The situation has gotten worse, not better.

There are some unisex names that are traditionally unisex and, that is not the problem in my mind. Sam can be short for Samantha or Samuel. I have known both a Toni and a Tony. But there seems to be an "asexualiztion" of male names. Why don't we want to give our sons strong men's names? There are a lot of good men's names to be had, such as George, John, Stephen, Samuel, Adam, Thomas, Christopher, James, David, etc. Why do we want to be "cute" and name our sons Brody or Taylor or Jordan, Brayden, Hayden, Carsen, etc? I could go on and on. Yes, many of these names aren't necessarily associated with girls, but they aren't strong men's names either.

My husband's name is Thomas. My ex-husband's name is Timothy. When I think back over the men I dated, I think of another Timothy, a Dean, a Bryan, and other names that are masculine. The closest to a feminine name I can think of is a guy named Jamie that I dated, and his given name was Jamie, not James.

I just think we need to name our boys with boy's names and our girls with girl's names.

Happy Anniversary!

Today is our 5th anniversary and I am truly blessed. I am married to the best husband, father, lover, and friend I could have ever wanted. Thomas is the absolute best. He is great to me and to our children. The last five years have been great, we have had our ups and downs like everyone, but I can honestly say that the good so far out weighs the bad that the bad is hard to remember sometimes. I am looking forward to the next five, ten, twenty years with this man. I want to watch our children grow with him, I want to spoil our grandchildren together, I want to enjoy everyday and not waste a single minute.

Very Busy

Well, it has been quite a while since I updated my blog. I usually blog in the evenings, but this has become a time for Sofia and I to spend time together. Right now she is in her swing, Drew and Olivia are watching an animated episode of Superman recorded on the DVR, and Possum is "vacuuming" with his toy vacuum that Santa brought for Christmas. Thomas is at work, so I am taking advantage of everyone being "entertained" to blog.

I guess I should update everyone on what has been going on around here. Sofia is now a month old, she turned one month on Wednesday. I surely don't know where the time has gone. She spent the evening of her one month birthday in the ER. She has finally caught the cold that everyone here has had. I wasn't so worried until she started to run a low grade temp late in the evening. I called her pediatrician (whom I adore) and we were told to go have her seen since she is so young. Of course by the time we got to the hospital her temp had dropped to 100.0. I took her to the hospital that I work at since I trust them there, I wouldn't work anywhere I wouldn't bring my children. The hospital's standards are to not do an entire workup if the temp is less than 100.4, which I knew when I brought her in. Her temp had been 100.3 at home, so we were borderline. I am glad she didn't have to go through the entire workup and she is doing much better now. I still have to use the nasal bulb syringe routinely, which she hates, but otherwise all is well.

I am looking forward to going back to work. My first night back is January 26 and I am ready. Well, I am more mentally ready than physically ready at this point, but I am sure I will be up to the task physically in a few more weeks. I know I am ready to have the income again. The short term disabilty is a joke as it is just 50% of my take home pay. Living on half my salary has been a challenge, but we have managed. I am ready to not have to "manage" anymore though and to know that all our obligations will be met.

As for everyone else in the house, Drew goes back to school next Tuesday and though he says he isn't ready, I am sure he really is ready. He has been enjoying school this year and his progress reports were all A's and B's, so he is doing great. Possum is, well, Possum. He is a three year old boy, what more can I say? He is a good boy though and is having fun with his new Christmas toys. Now, Olivia, is doing well too. She ADORES her baby sister. She will go to where ever Sofia is and just stare at her. When asked what she is doing, Olivia says "I'm lookin' at her." Now don't get me wrong, Possum and Drew love their baby sister too, but Olivia is enthralled.

Thomas is working tonight, as I said, but we are ready to have things back to normal in that sense too. I am SO ready for him to be the one staying at home caring for the day to day household management. To be fair, he is ready as well. He likes his job and does very well, but his real job is home and family, and he is SUPERB at it.

Well, I think I am going to end here for tonight. I hope anyone reading this is doing well. The picture above was taken Christmas Eve.